Would You Go Sex-Free Before Your Wedding?

Can you actually hold off that long anyway?

So, you’ve been happily scoring Os with your man for months, years even – and now you’re wondering if there’s a way to make sure your wedding night is, well, explosive. After all, the days of being an actual virgin bride seem long forgotten, but the sentiment of something special after you’ve said ‘I do’ is sweet.

So aside from donning risqué lingerie and adding an interesting-looking sex toy to the mix, you’re stumped. Would a few months of abstinence in the run up to your big day make the consummation that much more special? Or will it just frustrate the sh*t out of you (and bae)?

We weigh up the pros and cons, so you can decide if a full-on vow of abstinence, or just a simple sex-toy shopping trip, is best.

wedding, sex, toy


The Case to Go Sex-Free

1 It Creates Suspense

Just like the theory behind sexting and foreplay, there’s nothing quite like a little tease and a whole lot of denial to build serious sexual suspense. And like anyone out there who’s ever done long distance, or a day of steamy, full-on sexting will know, sexual suspense can = explosive big Os in the bedroom when the two of you finally get it on.

Obviously, the longer you go sex-free before the wedding, the greater the build up – it’s up to you and bae if three weeks or six months before works best. But to create genuinely powerful sexual suspense, you need to discuss boundaries: is everything up to actual penetration okay, or is any kind of orgasm (even if you achieve it without penetration) off the cards until the wedding night? Make sure you’re in agreement, otherwise the suspense will lead to argument-inducing frustration (which kinda ruins the point).


2 You Can Build Up To It The Whole Wedding Day

As part of creating suspense leading up to your wedding night, there’s a whole lot of fun to be had on the day in the way of foreplay. Just think: sexy pics to each other while you get dressed in the morning (maybe he gets a sneak peak at your bridal lingerie?), an old-school handwritten love letter delivered by your bridesmaids before you head to the ceremony… the fun and teasing to be had is endless!

Mix this in with the anticipation you’ll both already have just to see each other at the altar, and you’ll get a heady explosion of excitement, nerves and sexual tension sure to make for one heck of a love sesh that night.


3 Vanilla Sex Gets a Reboot!

There’s nothing quite like a sex drought to make you love missionary like it’s the first time you’ve ever had sex. Seriously though, going sex-free is probably the easiest way to make your wedding night hot because, frankly, you’ll both be so excited to get laid that even a quickie before you both fall asleep exhausted will blow your minds.

The Case to Keep Doing It (And Just Buy a New Sex Toy For The Night)

1 Spoiler: He’ll Probably Come in a Whole Three Seconds

No amount of sexcapades in his past will stop him from momentarily regressing to his pubescent self and, just like the first time he ever saw a topless picture, come quicker than you can get your bra off. *Eye roll*

So if you’re looking for an all-night romp rather than a 10-second fumble, going sex-free probably isn’t your deal.


2 Sometimes, You Need Sex (No, Not Just For Those Reasons)

Not just because orgasms are amazing, but also because sex is a key way couples bond – especially during times of stress and fighting (which is often what wedding planning involves). Yes, building sexual tension can make your wedding night amazing, but you need to actually have the wedding go ahead first… and for some couples, no sex = disaster for the health of their relationship.

3 Can You Actually Hold Off That Long Anyway?

Because orgasms. And also because you’re probably going to get drunk between now and the wedding, and we all know that means basically zero self-control with bae.

Would you go sex-free before your wedding? Tweet us your opinion at @CosmpolitanSA.

Read 9 Things You NEED to Know Before You Plan Your Wedding

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