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These 14 Insane Wedding-Reception Stories Will Make You Cringe

Note to self: Don’t have moonshine at the party.

Dream weddings can turn nightmarish really, really fast when the crowd gets boozed up, the caterer doesn’t show, and the groom’s ex-girlfriend won’t stop hitting on him. We collected Reddit users’ craziest stories about when they came for the ‘I dos’ and stayed for the drama.

1 The bride passed out

‘Dinner was supposed to start at 6pm. At 8.30pm, the bride fainted from lack of food. This was after another two and a half hours of cousins and aunts and uncles giving speeches, poems and songs, one after another. Why they didn’t do this after the food was served I will never know.’ – Tinycowz

2 The kids went wild

‘All kids under 10 years old smeared wedding cake and food all over each other.’ – a_sheila

3 The caterer was a no-show

‘I know of a couple […] who used nearly all of their R13 000 budget on a food truck guy who makes bomb-AF BBQ. Well, wedding day rolls around and BBQ guy still hasn’t shown up to the reception hall. They are calling him and he isn’t answering. Turns out he forgot about the wedding and didn’t prep any food. So he rushes to the grocery store and buys them out of cold-cut meats and top-shelf bread. He manages to prep 200 sandwiches, coleslaw and beans in about two hours. From what I hear – other than the food – the reception was amazing, and the BBQ guy felt so bad he gave the bride and groom free food for life from his food truck.’ – swanyMcswan

4 Someone ordered KFC

‘I went to a wedding once where the caterer messed up the food so badly that it was basically inedible. They ended up ‘making up for it’ by ordering a massive amount of chicken from KFC. The reception was literally just KFC meals. – BlueWukong

5 There was nowhere to sit

‘There were no tables and chairs. Like none. They had an open bar but no f***ing chairs. Everyone had to put their drink on the ground and hold their plate to eat. Everyone just assumed that some sort of terrible thing happened where the tables-and-chair people didn’t bring them, but afterwards I asked [the bride] what happened and she just said, ‘Oh, we would have had to pay extra for that.’ – tsim12345

6 The party favour was food poisoning

‘The caterers didn’t show up for cocktail hour. Apparently, they got lost and couldn’t find the giant hotel or the banquet hall. Then, at the reception, the DJ had technical difficulties and could only play CDs. People got food poisoning from the chicken entrée. [The bride] got red wine spilled on her dress. And the cake collapsed before they got to cut it.’ – SimplySweet24

7 The cake never made it to the table

‘[It was] only horrible for one person: the main hostess for the reception of about 30 guests. She carried in the three-tier wedding cake, rather than using a cart. She not only dropped it, but fell face-first into it on the floor. First dead silence … then a few giggles … and then her emotional breakdown like I have never seen one before. She was completely devastated from both the embarrassment and ruining that special moment. We all eventually assured her that we’re half-drunk and don’t care about the cake. The best part was that she easily collected $1 000 (about R13 000) more in tips than she would have had that not happened.’ – Scrappy_Larue

8 The reception was one giant potluck

‘In lieu of gifts, we were asked to bring food and drinks … as well as our own chairs, since they were having the reception in the backyard.’ – Lip-stick-junkie

9 A rude sister-in-law ruined everything

‘The groom’s sister (who was a good 15 years older than the groom) had volunteered to provide the wedding cake, as she’d been making really fancy cakes for family birthdays for years. The bride was kind of excited about this, since it was really the only welcoming gesture she got from the groom’s family. The sister took off right after the ceremony to go and pick up the cake, and after an hour, had still not shown up. After another 30 minutes, the bride was ready to just break a chocolate cookie with the groom and be done with it when Sister arrives – carrying three store-bought coconut cakes. Correction: three of the smallest store-bought cakes ever in existence AND they were obviously not fresh cakes (they had discount stickers on the boxes). Each cake said it served six people and there were more than 70 people at the reception, plus they were coconut – which the bride was allergic to. The groom’s sister had obviously spent an hour or so driving around to different stores looking for the worst of all cakes for this wedding.’ – jaimystery

10 There was no evidence of the cake

‘At the reception, the hotel was understaffed due to the rain, and the DJ couldn’t make it (again, due to the rain), so the reception consisted of guests sitting around in a silent room waiting for food. A plus-one soon decided that she was dying of hunger, so she got up and cut a slice of the wedding cake for herself before my parents had taken pictures with the cake or sliced it.’ – simplerthings

11 The brides stole their dessert

‘We were told the dessert portion of the evening would be in a park at the waterfront downtown. We all got in our cars and followed the brides’ to the location. We were under the impression it was a benefit event where desserts were being sold, but after we arrived, all the food seemed to be free. It was actually a really nice event – there was a band and dancing, and a cash bar and a million different desserts. It took me a while to realise that the brides had sneaked us into this event via the back part of the park. Turns out this was a ticketed event – tickets cost R6 500 and all proceeds went to the local HIV/AIDS organisation. They basically lied to us about the event and sneaked about 20 people into a benefit without paying. I felt terrible about this, and the four of us scraped together all the cash we had and put it in the tip jar at one of the dessert stations.’ – mannequin_hands

12 The cake line was monitored

‘They started cutting the cake, and [the bride] literally sat by the cake as guests were coming up and started dictating who did or did not get cake based on her like for them.’ – bunnies501

13 Moonshine got everyone way too drunk

‘My uncle makes moonshine, so he had a ton of it to serve at his wedding. People were passing out, fighting, and setting things on fire. We ended up calling the police because someone threw fireworks in the bonfire and it started getting out of control.’ – funkytownmagic

14 An ex-fling showed up

‘Right after dinner and before the cake-cutting ceremony, [the groom’s former crush] decided to just grab fistfuls of the wedding cake and try and smash it onto the groom. There was drunken yelling and she knocked over some chairs.’ – Kryptus

This post was originally published on Cosmopolitan.com/uk.

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