Smartphones are supposed to make our lives easier, and for the most part they do. And while we don’t want to trash talk our precious smartphones (mainly because they’re getting smarter and smarter and can probably read this and I don’t want my phone to turn on me), sometimes they get on our nerves. Here are some of the things that our smartphones do that are so annoying it almost makes us want to get a Nokia 3310 again:
The little red dots
There’s a reason why they designed apps to have little red dots as notifications. Humans are naturally troubled by the colour red, which is why most of us can’t relax until we’ve cleared every one of those red notifications. Well, at least that’s what somebody told me at a dinner party recently and it makes sense, right?
When you try to take a screenshot and accidentally lock your phone
Screenshots are excellent for saving funny conversations (and for keeping receipts for you to pull out at a later stage). The motion to take a screenshot is so awkward, though – why? Maybe when you accidentally lock your phone instead of successfully taking a screenshot it’s God’s way of telling you that you shouldn’t be copying this conversation to laugh at with your best friend in a separate chat (because, let’s be honest, this is usually why we screenshot things).
Seriously, who TF is still using a phone for phone calls in 2017? Most of us probably don’t even know what our ringtone is, and when our phone actually rings it takes a few seconds to figure out where that weird noise is coming from and who the heck ‘Unknown Number’ is.
Not having enough space for all 560 of your selfies
We all hate getting that order from our phone for us to delete some photos to free up some space (usually for some dumb software updates we didn’t ask for). Sure, they are all in the ‘Cloud’ or whatever, but after watching Black Mirror do we really trust an invisible storage system with our most precious possessions (yes, selfies are special)?
Embarrassing predictive text
Predictive text was designed to make us more efficient at typing but a lot of the time its suggestions suck.
When Instagram makes us look thirsty AF
Instagram’s algorithm is out to get you. You check out your crush’s profile a couple of times and all of a sudden their name is permanently in your suggested searches and you’re shown everything they do first. It’s fine if you’re alone, but it makes you way too nervous to let anyone else touch your phone ever in case you’re busted.
When your camera betrays you
It’s like your phone knows when you’re trying to be sneaky about taking a photo and decides that now is the time to inexplicably turn the flash setting on and turn up the volume of your camera sound to deafening levels, instantly blowing your cover.
Discriminating against Android users
As if the poor camera quality that comes with owning an Android wasn’t bad enough (what is it, like, 2 megapixels?) we also don’t get the same cute emojis as iPhone users. While they get to decorate their photos and captions with iconic emojis, Android users are stuck with less-cute 2D versions that look like they belong in a children’s storybook.
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