Everyone is aware of the age-old (read: stale) trope that dumps on women for never knowing where they want to eat. But like, it’s canceled. We have Yelp, Seamless, and an entire Instagram folder filled with pre-saved spots ready to go at a moment’s notice. The real decision that’s plaguing relationships these days is what to stream. I probably don’t have to tell you that nothing ruins a night like a never-ending scroll through Netflix’s catalog.
This helpful Valentine’s Day viewing guide is based on who you’re planning to watch with and will absolutely save your February 14. You’re welcome.
Your Officially Official Valentine
Are you comfortable enough to fully ugly cry in front of your person? Wellp, it sounds like you’re finally ready to take your relationship to the next level and watch A Walk to Remember together. Side note: before you hit play on that trailer, I feel as though it’s my moral responsibility to warn you that ‘Only Hope’ by Mandy Moore plays at the end and you might cry wherever you are reading this from.
Your Not-Yet-Exclusive Date
You haven’t actually defined your relationship yet, but you are hanging out on the most lovey-dovey day of the year, so that’s probably a pretty good sign. Choose a romantic comedy that you can both comfortably laugh at without feeling pressured into having The Talk. Forgetting Sarah Marshall should do the trick.
The Platonic Friend You Have a TON of Chemistry With
If you’re celebrating V-Day from the comfort of ~the friend zone~ then you’ve got to watch The Switch with your unfortunately way-too-platonic bud. It’s perfect if you’re taking the subtle route, because you don’t have to awkwardly sit through tension-building sex scenes but can still send a clear ‘psst, I like you’ message.
Your Hookup With No Relationship Potential
Gettin’ it on with someone you have absolutely no intentions of ever dating is all fun and games until you realize that it’s Valentine’s Day and literally any insignificant gesture can be misinterpreted as romance. To keep things extremely low-key, watch Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. It’s the perfect movie for a Netflix and Chill sesh because it has an epic musical score to have sex to. It’s also a lengthy 2 hours and 23 minutes, which gives you plenty of time to politely pretend like you’re actually going to watch the movie first.
Your Least Judgy Friend
Some years, you need to spend V-Day watching Twilight with someone who will not question that decision. So, hit up your most understanding friend, and fire up that Roku. P.S. I’m not suggesting that you turn this into a game and drink every time you see someone wearing a headband or there’s a long, awkward pause between Bella and Edward, but I am also not saying that you shouldn’t do that.
Your Roommate Who Says Valentine’s Day Is a Corporate Holiday
There’s no guarantee that Lars and the Real Girl will warm your roomie’s cold, dead heart, but it’s definitely worth a shot. It’s funny and sweet, but not too cheesy. Plus, Ryan Gosling. If she tries to resist just be like, ‘um, this is an indie movie,’ and press play anyway.
Your Literal Mom
If you’re hanging out with your mom on Valentine’s Day (cute!), you should totally watch a classic romantic comedy together, like, Bridget Jones’s Diary! IDK, Hugh Grant just feels like a weirdly solid meeting ground for you two to bond over.
A Newly Dumped Person
The Break-Up with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn makes break-ups funny! Right? Okay, maybe it’s too soon. And maybe that newly dumped person is actually just you.
Yourself, Who Kind of Forgot It’s Valentine’s Day
Maybe you have absolutely no idea when Valentine’s Day even is, until it hits you when you’re scrolling through Netflix and happen to stumble upon the romance section. At that same moment, you’ll probably also see Pete Davidson’s face when you get to Set It Up. Just watch that.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan US