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What TF is De-Armouring Your Vagina and Should You Do It?

If you want better, longer and deeper orgasms then yes!

Could it be that the only thing between you and a happier and more satisfying sex life is a massage… down there? If you haven’t heard about de-armouring your vagina you’re not alone, but it seems that every woman who has tried it swears by the practice, which apparently results is way more ~sensation~ and more powerful orgasms.

What do you mean ‘de-armouring your vagina’? Does that mean I’m ‘armoured’ RN?!

Armour is what is put on an individual to prevent damage from a dangerous action or environment. The thinking behind this term is that your vagina has built up a kind of ‘armour’ to protect itself, because, let’s be real, it’s a scary world out there for a vagina. Almost all women have experienced some kind of vaginal-related stress at some stage, and stress is carried in our muscles. Like when your neck gets super sore when you’re stressed at work.

Read: Different Types of Orgasm: clitoral, G-spot, U-spot and A-spot Orgasms Explained

This stress could include becoming sexually active too early, sleeping with men who betray your trust in some way, having unhappy sexual encounters, feeling ashamed about your vagina, and sexual trauma. To ‘de-armour’ it is a healing process. It’s about finding the spots where you hold tension and releasing it through pressure, which usually results in a whole lot of sexual benefits. Kind of like a deep tissue massage for your vagina.

If you’re interested in alternative medicine then the process is a form of reflexology, which we’ll get into later. But if you’re not that way inclined just think of it as a ~massage for your most precious body part that you can do yourself~.

What exactly does a de-armouring session entail?

It basically involves exploring your vagina with your fingers or a ‘yoni wand’ (that’s fancy talk for one of those beautiful looking crystal dildos), finding spots that are particularly painful and pressing on them until you feel release. You can do it yourself, with your partner or you can even pay a professional to do it for you (yes, really, it’s called ‘yoni massage’). We spoke to Marilu Snyders, a part-time self-love and sexuality coach and full-time woman who is passionate about female sexual empowerment, about what you can expect in a de-armouring session. For the sake of those of us who don’t have a rose quartz dildo lying around but want to try this ASAP she has given her method of doing it with your fingers:

‘Firstly make sure you are in a safe and relaxing environment. Make your space feel lush: take a bath, put on some soothing music and light some candles. Your de-armouring session is about you connecting with different parts of your vaginal canal and breathing carefully throughout. Start by pressing on the area of the entrance of your vagina, about 2,5cm in. In Chinese medicine this is called the kidney zone and it’s connected to holding trauma, fear and a lack of trust. Keep pressing with your thumb or finger on that spot and inhale deeply while you contract (squeeze) your vagina. To exhale you can relax your muscles and while exhaling make a sound, usually a kind of ‘Ah’ noise. You might feel strange making sounds but it’s important! It’s a good way to release energy. Repeat this process in this spot for a few minutes then move around to feel any other areas of tension nearby and repeat there too.’

Read: Nipple Orgasms: They’re Real and this is Apparently How to Have Them

‘Now you’re going to move 2,5cm further in to your vagina and repeat these steps in the same way. If you’re interested in Chinese medicine side of things then know that this is the liver zone and tension here could be related to anger and jealousy. Next move a further 2,5cm in and repeat your pressing and breathing process here. This is the pancreas zone, said to be where we hold worry and anxiety. Lastly you will reach the cervix, which will feel either soft like an ear lobe or firm like the tip of your nose, depending on where you are in your cycle. Tension in this area could be connected to grief, sadness, hatred and disconnection from the world. Some women experience discomfort or pain while others might feel numb, and some women even find it pleasurable; everyone is unique.

Know that each session will be different. I’ve had sessions where I cried like a baby, where I became extremely irritated with the process, even where I was bored and felt nothing. But, if you keep at it and do this practice once a week, or even once a month, you will start seeing positive changes in your sexuality, you relationships, your emotions and your femininity. Keep at it.’

How do I know if I need to do this?

Marilu would recommend this for ‘every single woman who has stuff to release’, which is most of us, right? If you can relate to any of these statements this practice could be a game-changer for you:

  • I often experience pain or tightness during sex
  • I struggle to orgasm with a partner
  • I am ‘in my head’ during sex a lot of the time
  • I often feel numb or very little sensation in my vagina
  • I have experienced some form of sexual trauma
  • I suffer from poor body image
  • I can only orgasm from clitoral stimulation

Read: ‘I Thought I was Having an Orgasm for Years Until I had a Real One’

How can this change my sex life?

‘Before getting into vaginal de-armouring I was pretty numb and shut down around sexuality,’ says Marilu. ‘I didn’t feel much during sex and it wasn’t easy for me to have an orgasm. When I did orgasm it was through extended clitoral stimulation only, and I had one type of orgasm: a typical building of pressure/contraction followed by a release, which I learned is called a ‘peak orgasm’.

Now I am much more confident in my body during sex. My orgasms changed completely to include full-bodied orgasms that last forever. I have more energy and I released a lot of old emotions during the de-armouring process. This is something my partner and I have done together. He presses on the zones in my vagina which then allows me to completely relax and focus on feeling, breathing and sounding. The sessions have brought us much closer as they ended up being quite emotional for me, and it has changed our sexual interactions for the better.’

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