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Sex: Stuff nobody talks about

Sex: We’re Talking About It

We’ve answered plenty of, um, ‘sensitive’ sex questions in our time… Here are just a few of COSMO readers’ more embarrassing sex issues….

Q. Sometimes when my boyfriend and I are having sex my vagina makes embarrassing farting noises. Is this normal? What can I do to make it stop?


A. Does it help that this completely natural little by-product of sex is known as ‘queefing’? I mean, that’s cute, right? This occurs when air gets trapped inside the vagina, then forced back out. The sound you’re hearing is the air inside the vagina being expelled, which can happen during sex or even during physical activities like yoga or Pilates. Basically, the tighter you are or the bigger he is, the more it happens and the louder it is. So one could really see it as a good sign! Monitor the sexual positions in which it happens more frequently. You could slso ask him not to withdraw too far between strokes, as this is what lets the air in, then forced it out. Thirdly, if you can, please laugh about it. Laughter is the most reparative, sexy gift to come out of this.

Q: My boyfriend is a horrible kisser, and we’ve only been dating for six months. How do I tell him that he can’t kiss? I don’t want to break his ego, but when we having sex, I don’t get wet because all I can think about is the horrible kissing… and we end up fighting. How do I resolve this kissing issue?

A: Ouch, this is delicate, but there are ways to lead him with and to your loving lips. Firstly, do not come straight out with it, he will lose confidence even more than he already has. Be patient and tactful, instead of telling him, show him. Invite him to play a little game, in which he must surrender to you completely. Show him your dominant side in a sexy, playful way. Kiss him the ways you want to be kissed, and make sounds of enjoyment and appreciation when he gets it right. A little positive praise goes a long way and you may be very pleasurable surprised by the changes you see in him. Good luck!

Q. Is it normal for your v-jay to get swollen when you have sex? I stayed a while without sex and only had sex in December last year and that’s when it got swollen! Since then I haven’t had sex and I’m a bit worried.

A. Absolutely normal; your vaginal area, including your labia, swells magnificently when you’re aroused (due to the increased blood flow), and sometimes stays that way for a while. It is nothing to worry about, in most cases, but you may have had an allergic or sensitive reaction either to latex condoms (try non latex ones) or your partner’s deodorant soap. Also, you may not be lubricating properly, which can cause irritation: try some different types of lube and see if that helps. Whatever you do, keep calm and carry on investigating… you are worth it!

Q: My boyfriend is very much less experienced than I am. I want to introduce sex toys and other things into the relationship but I am worried that this will shock him or make him think less of me. How can I bring this up? Would some toys be better than other as an introduction?


A. While he may react negatively, it is so worth the gamble. The thing is, you are the one who has to take the reins and the risk. Many men would be thrilled that their partners want to stimulate fun, loving sexuality. Keep calm and start small: leave your latest COSMO open at a pertinent and sexy story; drop a hint verbally or through text; or visit www.honeyhoney.co.za for stylish couples’ toys that could act as easy introductions into a new world of sensuality. He will probably be deeply happy and grateful and if he rejects you for that, I have just one word: next! Some adventurous, loving man out there is going to be so glad when you come his way. Or when he comes, your way.

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