As far as people’s sex bucket lists go, joining the mile-high club is on many of them. According to many a Reddit thread devoted to the topic, you’ve got to have pretty thick skin to deal with being caught. Here, five people spill the beans on why they won’t be reapplying for mile-high membership any time soon.
1 ‘One of the most mortifying moments of my life was getting caught trying to join the mile-high club. My girlfriend at the time and I really wanted to try, so we booked seats on a red-eye, thinking no-one would pay us any mind. She went into the bathroom, and I joined her a minute later. It’s then my turn to go in. Since we have been whispering about it and thinking about it for weeks I am hard and she is wet. I put it in and BAM BAM BAM, the f*cking stewardess is banging on the door and saying, “Come out right now! I know what you are doing in there!” We look at each other in horror and I instantly lose my erection. We button ourselves up and skulk out to major stinkeye from everyone sitting nearby (several people were woken up by the stewardess banging on the door/yelling). We had to sit through the rest of the flight with blue balls and extreme shame. The stewardess pointed us out to the captain as we were getting off the flight…’
2 ‘We were on a flight from Warsaw to Los Angeles, or the other way around. My girlfriend went into the bathroom first, then me. It was awkward and not a lot of ability for foreplay so only I finished. It wasn’t as mind-blowing as I’d hoped it would be, to be honest.’
3 ‘It got really messy, really quickly. He was taking me from behind when he finished. We knew there was someone waiting outside the bathroom and so we felt panicked. We decided to face the music with whichever passenger was waiting outside. She was actually pretty chilled and winked at us as we walked out. Only once we got back to our seats did my boyfriend notice that his jizz had landed all over the bottom of his shirt and many of the seated passengers saw it as we walked by. Never, ever again. Not worth the trauma.’
4 ‘We got a stern talking to. The sex itself was incredibly average. The bathroom is so small and smelly and very unsexy. We were called aside after we landed and the flight crew gave us a tongue thrashing about how inappropriate we had been. Overall, not the best experience.’
5 ‘We quickly realised there is no such thing as subtlety under a blanket. We thought, ‘How obvious to go to the bathroom – let’s rather snuggle up under the blanket.” An absolutely terrible idea, let me tell you. Any hand gestures that are effective enough to get you off, are obvious enough to be noticed from under a blanket. We got filthy looks from the people around us. Also, we didn’t exactly give thought to where my husband would finish. It was messy business that left me feeling guilty.’
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