Cringe-Worthy Confessions: 'I Fantasise about My BFF's Boyfriend'


1 I fantasise about my best friend’s boyfriend

‘I honestly felt so badly about it for the longest time, but my mind just drifts to him when I’m masturbating. I would never, ever act on my attraction to him. But I’ve had to stop beating myself up about imagining him bending me over a table and having his way with me. The vagina wants what it wants.’ – L, 28

2 I lost my roommate her dream job

‘She popped out to buy milk and left her phone at home. When her phone rang, I was making dinner but I answered it. It was a company asking for her to come in for a second interview for her dream job. The information and phone call literally disappeared from my mind the second I hung up. A week later she got an e-mail from them saying they were so disappointed she’d lost interest in the position, but they’d filled it with another candidate and wish her well on all future endeavours.’ – P, 26

3 I destroyed my sister’s Lush birthday gifts

‘Her BFF gave her the most amazing Lush bath hamper for her birthday. Not long after, she went away for work. I figured, I’ll just use a little bit here and a little bit there, she’ll never notice the few products that are missing. Two weeks later I realised I’d used 80% of her products. I called her BFF to ask where I should go to replace them with the exact same ones. Turns out she’d ordered them from overseas because the particular products she wanted my sister to have aren’t available in South Africa yet. My sister was so cross.’ – N, 23

4 I used my roommate’s vibrator

‘I am not proud of it, but I did it.’ – A, 26

5 I made my boyfriend drink hotdog water for two weeks

‘My boyfriend loves to prank me, and I hate it. Eventually I decided to get back at him. I left a vienna sausage in our kettle. I made sure to always be the one to fill it up so he never opened it, and I just got takeaway coffee on the way to work everyday until he discovered it.’ – B, 24

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