Ever wondered where you might be going wrong? Have you ever been someone’s worst date? Well, the clues could be revealed by your star sign…
1 ARIES: this is a date, not a battle to the death
Back away from the adventure golf, put the pool cue down, stop eyeing those board games (especially Monopoly) on the shelf. I mean it, Aries! Your appetite for competition, knowing ‘best’, and generally proving your mettle can be a tad unwelcome, and frankly terrifying, on those early dates. Unleash the beast slowly, gradually, and tempered by your loving, funny side too.
2 TAURUS: wake up!
Ah, Taurus, I know it all feels like hard work and effort, this dating malarkey. You’ve got to get up, get DRESSED (on a WEEKEND!) and possibly make small talk. I’m not saying you’re lazy (kinda’ are, though). Get to it, because once your considerable doe-eyed charms are activated, you may be back in bed before you know it (*ahem*)…
3 GEMINI: resting bitch face
Recognise this contemptuous sneer, Gemini? Yep, it’s you. And, worse still, you when you actually like someone. Your dual nature compels you to act in a way which is completely the opposite to how you feel. This is confusing to other people. If you like someone, let it show, because this look is, honestly, bone-chilling.
4 CANCER: full-on crazy talk
Did you know that you are the FBI’s official ‘most dangerous’ star sign? More violent crimes are committed by Cancerians than any other sign. Partly, this may be because you hate as hard as you love. Exes don’t get an easy time from you, nor do they ever (like, EVER) get off the hook. Please don’t talk about this on your first date. Keep the bones of ‘boyfriends past’ locked away, and never mention them over dinner/the film/in bed. Just. Don’t.
5 LEO: shall we talk about me some more?
NO! Good grief, Leo, I know we could talk about you, your glories, achievements, bitter blows, feuds, comedy moments etc all night, but please remember to ask questions and look interested in the person opposite you too. Don’t let confidence come over as arrogance. Your show reel IS awesome, I’m not denying it, but keep it snappy.
6 VIRGO: Google has proven me right once again
Oh Virgo, please do something about this need for pedantry and point-scoring. I KNOW you’re usually right (don’t we all) and I KNOW you’re just trying to help/put them straight … but it can get irritating. As irritating as you find having to correct people in the first place. Yes? You know how that feels. So … stop it.
7 LIBRA: keeping one’s options open…
Libra, you’re the lover of the Zodiac, the one they all want, and you’ve probably gotten to a point of almost taking this for granted. Be what you want to attract. Think about that.
If you continue to play the field, and keep your options open, then this is the kind of partner who’ll put up with you. Don’t lose the interest of the ‘good guys’ for the sake of a stoppable, bad habit.
8 SCORPIO: scaring the living daylights out of them
Now, you may know what’s going on in your head, but remember that they don’t. So, they won’t get that you tend to scoff, sneer and insult people, just as a matter of course. To you, it’s a sign of affection. It doesn’t mean you don’t like/fancy them; in fact, the more rude you are, the more you probably want to impress them. You’re quite scary, you know. Play nice. At least, at first.
9 SAGITTARIUS: ever so slightly *overdoing* it
A bit like Rachel Green seducing Joshua, you really know how to go in all guns blazing. Keep that in mind, Sagittarius, because you have a tendency to rush in and go hell-for-leather from the get go. Your energy and enthusiasm is admirable, but it can overwhelm meeker souls. Try to suss them, and their pace, out before you get freaky!
10 CAPRICORN: why so serious?
Dates are supposed to be fun, Capricorn. Well, hopefully… So, put away the interrogation tools, the grudge book, the judging instruments and the politics. ALL of it. In a bag, under the table, away from this person. Now, unleash your (infamous) GSOH instead, and they’ll be blown away.
11 AQUARIUS: Houston, we have a problem…
Seriously, Aquarius, where do you go to in your head? Is it outer space? Is it a secret world within? Is it just … blank? You’re capable of ‘big thinking’ and making lateral connections that others don’t see. A cool, logical analytical presence, which is cool when you’re flirting with other Aquarians, but may miss the mark with the 11 other signs. This isn’t NASA, it’s Nandos. On Earth. The planet you are living on.
12 PISCES: three’s a crowd
We all talk shit about boys to our pals, FACT. However, there’s a line. And you often don’t see it, and over-share every detail, every doubt, every ‘bad bit’. End result? Pals HATE every boy you date, and start (in your mind) undermining and sniping at you. You started it, Pisces! You shouldn’t go moaning to them if you don’t want their back-up.
Stop this now, and see the massive difference it makes. You can get to know people without interference or having to download and debrief every detail. Phew…
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com.uk.
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