I Love You But I Won't Follow You Back: When Social Media and Love Don't Mix

Two people explain why they aren’t liking their boo’s posts

Recently I was talking to a friend who casually mentioned that her boyfriend of eight years refuses to follow her back on the social media platform, Instagram.

I was all:


And she was all:


All she had to say was, ‘Girl, sometimes social media and love don’t play nicely’.

I mean, I suppose after eight years (which is when the app was released AND my friend’s love with her boo blossomed), you’re either comfortable with something or you’re not. And seemingly comfortable she was. I, on the other hand, couldn’t wrap my head around it, and so I hunted for some couples who are in similar situations to my friend.

Here are three people who share their thoughts on why social media and love don’t mix

1 My boyfriend is too possessive

‘Don’t get me wrong, I love him a lot and he is amazing. But when it comes to social media, he becomes insecure to the point of driving me a bit nuts. A year ago I decided that it was either a blackout on our social media interactions with each other, or a break up. He was resistant at first because he obviously assumed I had something to hide. I just explained that I was tired of explaining myself to him. Before I put boundaries in place, it got to the point that he was frequently checking which posts I was liking of other people. God forbid I liked a male model’s photo, it resulted in an entire evening of bickering. If I was tagged in a photo that included someone he didn’t know personally, he’d interrogate me. I know there are bigger issues at hand. His insecurities still exist, and he’s working on them in therapy. This was our way of staying united as a couple while he works on those issues.’ *Buyi, 26

2 My husband is a photographer

‘And it’s certainly not wild animals or landscapes on the other end of his lens. Most of the shoots he does are swimwear and lingerie, and he treats his Instagram as both his personal and work profile. I tried to pretend for a while like seeing pictures of the exceptionally gorgeous women he spends his days with wasn’t bothering me, but eventually I had to be honest with myself, and him. There are tons of photos on his profile of me and him, and the life we share, so he never behaves like he has something to hide. I just had to take care of my self-esteem a little bit. He was apologetic and lovely, but didn’t put up a fight when I hit that “unfollow” button.’ *Paula, 28

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