We have this idea that people who say, ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ are simply throwing around an overused line to get out of a relationship. Guess what? It’s not just a cop-out — a lot of the time, it’s the truth. It’s something we should accept rather than feeling offended and worthless if that line’s used on us.
1. Sometimes you just don’t have chemistry. There’s no point being affronted because someone is not attracted to you. You could be as objectively stunning as Kendall Jenner, but if the spark’s not there, it just… isn’t.
2. People grow (sometimes apart). Those changes might not suit either of your lifestyles. When this is the case, neither of you have done anything ‘wrong’ in the relationship, and it’s definitely not your fault.
3. Sometimes you just need me-time. What with work, gym, family and a somewhere-in-between social life, we all have such busy schedules and and we’re constantly moving. Adding a relationship can cause you to neglect other aspects of your life, and maybe that’s not what your partner wants right now.
4. Nobody is for everybody. There is nothing wrong with you, there was just something wrong with your relationship. Just because one person doesn’t want to be with you, doesn’t mean you’re suddenly undatable.
5. We all have our own problems, issues or secrets. Don’t take it as a personal attack that somebody feels they need to sort through their problems alone.
6. We all have goals and aspirations. Your relationship might be holding someone back or vice versa, but not necessarily because of something you’re doing. We’re all allowed to be a little selfish once in a while.
So next time that line’s used on you, before you become defensive and hurt, take a moment to breathe and remain calm. It really isn’t you.