Is there a crappier feeling than pining after someone you can’t have? Probably not. If you’re in this situation, should you make a move on him? Definitely not. It’s not going to be easy, but here’s how you can try to get over someone you can’t have (at least, not right now.)
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1. Understand that if he liked you enough, he would be with you.
His current girlfriend most likely doesn’t have some major sword dangling over his head to keep him there. He’s with her because he wants to be with her, and even if he does like you it’s not enough for him to change his situation. Remember, you deserve a guy who makes it clear that you’re his first choice.
2. Consider his current girlfriend.
If you’re absolutely convinced this guy feels the same way about you (maybe he’s even told you), try putting yourself in his girlfriend’s position. It’s tempting to view her as the villain standing between you and your dream man, but imagine how awful you would feel if your boyfriend cheated on you. Trust us – nobody else is going to view her as the bad guy when you’re the other woman.
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3. Try your hardest to stay away.
The more you interact with him, the more difficult it will be to get over your feelings. Don’t put yourself in situations that will shove you into his presence. Seeing him with his girlfriend will only hurt you more, anyway. Spend more time with the other people in your life that love you. It will remind you what real appreciation feels like, and you won’t feel the need for validation from him.
4. Remember: If he cheats for you, he can also do it to you.
In your fantasy, being the other woman is absolute proof that he feels the same way about you. Yay, right? In reality, being his side-chick just makes him a cheater. It’s wrong to suggest ‘once a cheater; always a cheater,’ but the potential for him to stray is definitely there. You don’t want to deal with that paranoia, and you shouldn’t have to.
5. Accept that, right now, nothing can happen.
At this stage in life, a relationship with this guy is not possible. Remind yourself that you’re pining after something that simply can’t happen. It’s not going to be easy, but it’s necessary. Once you realise that – at the moment, at least – he isn’t even an option, you’ll be able to focus your energy on people who are.