1 It’s okay if you’re not an extrovert. Just because she’s an extrovert doesn’t mean you have to be the life of the party yourself. It’s totally cool if you’re more of a quiet type who prefers to stay in the background.
2 She loves trying new things. Her focus is outwards, on stimulating and exciting activities. You’ll capture her attention by going on dates to places she’s never been before. Take her rock climbing and then go check out that new Vietnamese sandwich place together.
3 Conversation with her is easy. You won’t have long, awkward pauses talking to an extrovert. She enjoys talking to people and will ask questions and show an interest. If you get nervous or flustered, it’s fine – she’s adept at keeping the conversation flowing smoothly and will put you at ease.
4 She won’t keep you guessing as to how she feels about you. If she likes you, you won’t need a secret decoder to figure it out. She’s assertive and will let you know. The same thing goes if she thinks it’s time to move on. She’ll tell you and won’t do the passive-aggressive extended-break-up thing.
5 She recharges herself by being around and talking to other people. She feels better after the stimulation of human contact and needs it to feel energised. When she’s down, one of the best pick-me-ups is to go out with friends or talk on the phone. If she’s feeling a bit low, spending time with her will cheer her up.
6 She runs the risk of overextending herself. There’s so much she wants to do and see that she might say yes too often and find her schedule overpacked. She might be planning on attending four parties instead of just one on Saturday night – on a regular basis. It might be a good idea to help her relax once in a while, with some one-on-one time or by surprising her with a day at the spa.
7 She has a lot of friends and interests to keep her busy, so she won’t rely on you for everything. Even if she’s new in town and needs to make friends, an extrovert will be outgoing and won’t rely on you for her entire social life. If you’re busy or that band she wants to see isn’t really your thing, no problem – she’ll take a friend or go on her own.
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8 She’ll try to get you out of the house. She won’t try to drag you out every night, and she’ll be fine with occasionally lounging in pyjamas and watching series. But she will definitely expect to go places other than your apartment or hers, no matter how long you’ve been dating.
9 She likes to talk. This doesn’t mean she’ll talk your ear off without letting you get in a word edgewise – she just has so much to say! She’ll want to tell you how her day went but will also ask about yours. She’ll tell you stories to amuse you and she’ll talk to soothe you when you are stressed. She talks when she’s happy and she talks when she’s sad. She talks to strangers in the checkout line. Sometimes she talks just to think out loud.
10 But just because she’s talkative doesn’t mean she’s needy. Don’t mistake the fact that she wants to talk to you and text you a lot for the fact that she’s clingy. She’s not. A lot of her talking is just her way of connecting and thinking things through. She doesn’t necessarily expect you to respond to every multi-paragraph text that she sends.
11 It’s easy to get to know her. She doesn’t put up walls, so it won’t be like pulling teeth to get her to open up. She’ll probably tell you her whole life story within the first few meetings.
12 She’s adaptable. She goes with the flow and will adjust easily to whatever the situation calls for. When your relatives show up unexpectedly for the weekend, she’ll help you play tour guide and happily tag along to the all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant that your aunt wants to go to.
13 She enjoys being the centre of attention. You may need to hold her purse while she is jumping on stage as a volunteer from the audience (she usually gets picked because she’s waving her hand so enthusiastically), jumping in the swimming pool with her clothes on, serenading a bar of strangers with her karaoke skills or getting the dance floor started. If it looks fun, she’s up for it. She doesn’t embarrass easily.
14 She likes having people around. Her philosophy is ‘the more, the merrier’. She might not have a full-time entourage but she’ll prefer to hang out with a group – the larger the better. Plans to have a few people over for dinner might quickly morph into a dinner party for 20, so you might want to make sure you’re both on the same page.
15 She’s not flirting with everyone. She’s friendly and likes talking to people. Her friendliness can sometimes be misinterpreted but she just has a bubbly personality and talks to everyone with the same warmth and attention, from the waiter at dinner to your 90-year-old grandmother.
16 Just because she’s an extrovert doesn’t mean she’s shallow or frivolous. Extroverts can get pegged as being shallow because they’re good at making small talk and they enjoy parties but that doesn’t mean they don’t have deeper values or never pick up a book. Extroverts can be extremely intelligent, serious and thoughtful, just like everyone else. Don’t write her off as unintellectual just because she’s a charming extrovert.
17 Sex with her is daring and uninhibited. She likes to explore and doesn’t have many inhibitions in general. This allows her to let go and focus on having fun.
This article was originally published on Cosmopolitan.com