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3 of My Friends Shared Why They Don't Masturbate

Or are we just saying we’re not?

Are we really not masturbating in 2019? And by ‘we’, I mean ‘some’. I’m not insane, after all. I know that clits are being caressed with abandon all over the world. But when it comes to my friends who insist they truly aren’t masturbating, I can’t help but wonder, ‘Really?’

These great loves of my life agreed to go on the record (anonymously) and tell me why they’re not masturbating.

1 It just doesn’t feel like… anything

‘I’ve tried with a shower head, I’ve used toys, I’ve drowned by vag in lube. Nothing feels good. This being said, when I’m actually having sex, I love clit stimulation whether my partner is doing it or I am, so I don’t know why nothing seems to work when I’m on my own. I guess I have to be really “in the moment” with someone to be turned on. I used to overthink it, but I’m quite indifferent to it now.’ – *Gina, 28

via GIPHY

2 It makes me feel dirty

‘Which I know in 2019 no one is supposed to admit to – but it does. I assume it was growing up in a really religious family that did the trick. I feel resentful to my mother for never having spoken to me about sex, and rather fostering these warped ideas I have around a woman’s sexuality. I’ve had sex a few times and I can understand why people enjoy it, but it felt so far-removed – like something I’d have to learn to enjoy when I get married one day. Maybe marriage will help me with the feelings of guilt, and maybe then I’ll want to masturbate.’ – *Manisha, 27

via GIPHY

3 I’ve never had an orgasm

‘Which means I should probably be masturbating a lot instead of not at all, but when you’ve never tasted chocolate cake, you don’t really miss chocolate cake. All you have to go on are the descriptions people give you. I’ve tried to play with myself and learn what I like and what my body needs, and sure, it felt good. But it’s like I get to this peak and then my body reabsorbs the pleasure. I’m pretty sure it’s what people mean when they refer to a “lost orgasm”. I still love having sex with my boyfriend, because it’s playful and makes me feel connected to him. So I guess I get pleasure from sex that I don’t get from masturbation.’ – *Mel, 25

*Names have been changed.

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