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How Sex Changed for 10 Women When Falling Pregnant Was the Goal

‘I wanted a damn refund.’

The joy is that sex comes in so many varieties. There’s the first time with a new partner-kind. The makeup after a massive fight-kind. The first time you ask outright to be lightly choked-kind. Really, the variations are limitless.

Yet, as someone who has given no thought to falling pregnant other than the fact that I absolutely must avoid it at all costs, I’d never given much thought to how sex changes if your aim is falling pregnant.

1 The first time? Freakin awesome

‘The second? A chore. We tried for 3 years with our second and by the end, we were so over it. I was charting and using ovulation predictors. Sending a text that says “we have to have sex tonight” was usually met with “ok”. The “oh baby I can’t wait for you to get home” days were long gone.’ [Via]

2 My husband stopped right in the middle and said, ‘This is so weird’

‘Really weird at first. We’d both spent our entire adult lives trying not to get pregnant. The first time we had sex after dropping birth control, my husband stopped right in the middle and said, “This is so weird.” (Which is what everyone wants to hear in bed.) But once we got past the weirdness it was a lot of fun.

It was also short-lived. We got pregnant on our first cycle trying and then I started feeling too miserable to function, let alone have more sex. I was kind of hoping the trying for a baby sexy fun time would last a little longer.’ [Via]

3 That was definitely some of the best sex of our relationship

‘I got pregnant on our honeymoon. We thought it would take longer. I didn’t do any of the tracking or anything because I know myself and I know I would’ve gotten obsessive about it. It ended up working out nicely. I don’t think we’ll be having more kids but that was definitely some of the best sex of our relationship, and I’m not sure it could be replicated.’ [Via]

4 I’m totally meh about the whole thing

‘We are in the trying phase right now, and the first couple of months it felt really naughty to be having totally unprotected sex. Made it fun! Now we’re in month 10 and it’s getting more of a chore, we feel bad if one of us isn’t up to it in the fertile week, we haven’t had a single positive test, and I’m totally meh about the whole thing.’ [Via]

5 It felt like a fun game, waiting for a result each month

‘The best. Strange at first, but then it’s just so natural. It felt like a fun game, waiting for a result each month. As time went on, I got concerned. But luckily enough, both times we scored four months in. Even though I have stage 4 endometriosis and PCOS.’ [Via]

6 The sex is very similar to how it was before

‘I’m trying now. On our 5th cycle. The entire process is demoralising and anxiety-producing because it feels like I am taking longer than most people. But the sex is very similar to how it was before. The only difference is occasionally we will do it when we would have otherwise taken a night off.’ [Via]

7 It’s a chore after a few months

‘It took nine months for our first and 11 for our second. It’s a chore after a few months. After we had our kids, we find out he has hydrocele and varicocele… It explains a lot.’ [Via]

8 We decided to just go for it full force and have sex every other day

‘After nine months of trying, predicting ovulation days and so on we decided to just go for it full force and have sex every other day the whole month. It was strange to do it on a schedule and so often first, but then we really enjoyed it and got even closer to each other. I got pregnant that month, our little baby girl is 8 months now.’ [Via]

9 I wanted a damn refund

‘I remember being so pissed during the three years we were trying for our second. All that money on birth control? Condom money? The fear that I would get pregnant at the wrong time? All a giant waste! I wanted a damn refund because clearly, it wasn’t just that easy to get pregnant!’ [Via]

10 Both pregnancies were difficult

‘I fell pregnant the first cycle on both the pregnancies. Both pregnancies were difficult, and hardly had any sex after falling pregnant.’ [Via]

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