Despite all the ups and downs of high school – grades, poorly highlighted hair, or the VS Pink sweatpants I blew my monthly allowance on – the one thing that remained constant throughout those years was my major crush on Overland Park’s basketball superstar, Brett Bond.
To him, I will never be more than the ‘excuse me’ he said as he grazed my shoulder on the staircase back in the day. But to me, he will always be the dude I mindlessly swipe search for on dating apps when I return home for the holidays.
This is called hometown holidating – AKA when you download a dating app when you’re home on break in hopes of matching and reconnecting with your old crush. You probably don’t even realise you’re doing it when you are, but what you DO know is that you glowed the eff up post-high school, and yes, you are now in their league.
‘People often fantasise about returning to their hometowns as a more confident and successful version of themselves to get the guy/girl of their high school dreams,’ says Tinder’s Dating and Relationship expert Darcy Sterling, PhD.
And now that dating is as easy as a swipe of your finger, the fantasy of bagging your former love when you’re home has become more attainable than ever before.
But, be warned: There are some pros and cons behind swiping for your version of Brett Bond (who, by the way, is seemingly happily cuffed, given the evidence I found after searching for him this past Thanksgiving). Here, Sterling breaks it down for you:
- At the very least, swiping in search of your long lost love is a great way to break up the intensity of ‘family time’ during the holidays. AKA, when Uncle Wayne is going on a political rant and you need to slip away, you can hide behind your phone.
- It’s way easier to reconnect with an old acquaintance or friend. ‘Having a shared history gives you a starting point for small talk, which makes conversations much easier,’ says Sterling.
- If it does work out and they actually are better IRL than in fantasy world, voila! You’ve found the Peter Kavinsky to your Lara Jean.
- You find and swipe right on them, but they don’t swipe right on you. Ouch.
- While you grew up, your seemingly beautiful high school crush… well, didn’t. And they’re still talking about their glory days, the senior prank they got suspended for, or that time they lost their virginity in the custodian’s closet. (Weird flex, I know.) Perhaps your mind was building them up to be something they’re not, which can be a crappy letdown.
- If you successfully connect and you get all those mushy rainbows and butterfly feelings when you kiss, hooray! But, oh shit, you live half-way across the country. Long-distance may be your only option, and TBH, LDRs suck.
So, although I may never be more than a doe-eyed plebe who watched Brett Bond from our stadium high school bleachers (*cue the Tay Swift song*), swiping in hopes of reconnecting with him was worth the minimal effort.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan US
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