If I were to give my sex drive a rating, it would have to be painfully average. At least, it used to be average until I started taking antidepressants, and now my libido has well and truly left the building. While this isn’t of that much concern to me, TBH, I also know that *not* being intimate – like, ever – is not conducive to a long and happy relationship. Balls. So how do I keep my always-horny partner happy without having to put out? I gave him the best late-birthday, early Christmas present of his life: a fleshlight.
A few weeks back a Fleshlight landed on my desk, courtesy of Olivia Grey. But what the H.E.C.K is a Fleshlight anyway? Just the best-selling male sex toy in the entire world. Women have been having their fun with Rampant Rabbits for years, so it’s about time that the guys had their fun too. Essentially, it is a masturbatory aid that looks like an enormous flashlight (as in that thing we use during loadshedding) that has a soft, fleshy sleeve down the middle that replicates the feeling of being inside a vagina. To really sell it, there is also a vagina at the front where the penis goes in, and these are often modelled on real-life porn stars.
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KONKURRANSEN ER AVSLUTTET // VINNEREN ER KONTAKTET ✨ KONKURRANSE ✨ Denne uka er det guttas uke og vi deler derfor ut en Fristende Fleshlight til en heldig vinner 🔥 Alt du trenger å gjøre er å følge oss på Instagram og like dette bildet 🤙🏽☝🏽 Vinneren trekkes fredag 28. juni 💥 📸: @kondomeriet #kondomeriet #konkurranse #fristende #fleshlight
The Fleshlight – also known as a pocket pussy – has come a long way over the years, and there are loads of different varieties available on the market. Men can now ‘have sex’ with aliens…
…and soon with a partner who isn’t even in the same room as them.
In a long-distance relationship? No problem. For £350 you can have sex via bluetooth. pic.twitter.com/8bXk8nCkwo
— VICE on TV (@vicelanduk) August 7, 2019
All you and/or your partner need to enjoy this innovative sex toy is an open mind and a fair amount of lube. Forearm stamina is optional, but useful.
Am I lazy? Are there other ways I could be dealing with my sex-drive sitch? Maybe. But it sure is nice that there are tools available to take some of the performance pressure off me. And my vagina.
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