×

A Step By Step Guide to Giving Your Partner an Erotic Massage

Where it leads is up to you 😏

Erotic massage is one of the most luxurious forms of ‘foreplay’ there is. Getting ready to have sex (whatever ‘sex’ means to you, whether that’s fingering, oral or penetration) doesn’t just have to involve passionate kissing. An erotic massage is a perfect way to connect physically and emotionally, as well as turn someone on.

Lovehoney sex expert Annabelle Knight explains how to give a super sexy erotic massage. Whatever you do afterward is totally up to you…

Why a sensual massage?

‘The majority of our everyday communication is non-verbal and body language plays a huge part in how we communicate and understand other people,’ Annabelle says. ‘It should, therefore, make sense that massage, one of the most intimate kinds of touch, is a good way of communicating with your lover. Each caress, stroke and rub can be used to say anything from “I adore your body” to “I hope you had a good day at work”.’

So while massage is obviously great because it loosens tension and relieves physical pain, it can also ‘help unblock their mind – as they focus less on the pain and the stress associated with it,’ Annabelle adds.

Whether you decide to give their whole body some attention, or just their hands or back, here’s what you’ll need to prepare.

The right atmosphere

You don’t need a huge flat or spare bedroom to give an erotic massage, as long as the space is nice and relaxed (and comfy). Whether you’re planning to massage your partner in your bedroom or living room, as long as you get the atmosphere down, you’re good to go.

Temperature

‘To help set the mood you might want to start by making the room warm,’ Annabelle suggests. As your partner’s probably going to be naked (or at least semi-naked), you want to make sure the environment is as comfortable as possible.

Lighting

‘You’ll also want to dim the lights or light some candles. Harsh lighting can be an uncomfortable distraction during a massage, so bring in a little bit of romance with some fairy lights or candles.’

Massage lotion

‘One of the most important parts of a massage is a slippery oil or lotion that will let your hands glide across their body, and leave their skin feeling smooth and nourished,’ she says. You could use regular massage oil, but if you work on your partner with a lickable massage oil, you’ll know it’s safe to come into contact with more… delicate areas of the body, too.

‘Pour some oil onto your palms and gently rub to warm the lotion, before running your hands over your lover’s body in sensual, long strokes,’ she says.

‘If you’re using a massage candle, light the wick and when the wax melts, the candle will turn into a warm liquid that can be safely poured on to the skin for a sweet-smelling massage. Massage candles are wonderful for setting the mood and adding a little ceremony to your sensual massage experience.’

You can also try a massage stone if you’re not too sure of your massage skills.

Head to Africology.com to shop massage lotions, candles, and Himalayan salt massage stones.

Feeling your way

Regardless of which body part you’re going to be massaging, there are techniques that can be used almost anywhere. ‘Be careful not to press too hard, or cause any pain when you’re giving the massage,’ Annabelle advises. ‘Take time to check in with your partner to find out which parts they enjoy most.’

Initial touch

She says, ‘The first few touches you make should be long, lingering and purposeful. Psychologically speaking, firm contact will reassure your partner and make them feel safe (think of how a strong handshake makes an impression on a business partner).’

Let all your stress seep away

Apply the massage oil/lotion

This will get their skin warmed up. ‘Your hands should be flat but your fingers should be relaxed, allowing them to splay, and follow the natural contours of your partner’s body.’

Fingertips

You might be tempted to start off massaging intensely and deeply, but the opposite can be more exciting and arousing. Annabelle recommends, ‘Using your fingertips, trace the contours of your partner’s body. Run your fingers through their hair, gently graze their neck with the pads of your fingers or follow the smooth curves of their lips with your thumbs. This soft touching will give great results and allow you to move your touch from one area of the body to another fluidly.’

Kneading thumbs

‘Pressing, kneading and rolling the thumbs against the body is a great way to work out tension in the muscles,’ she adds. ‘Press your thumbs against any body part and smoothly move them away from you, using the full extension of your thumbs. Moving each thumb, one after the other creates a continuous rolling sensation that will really get rid of knots and tight spots. This works especially well on the back, shoulders, feet and thighs.’

So, that should have got you firmly in the zone to take it from ‘massage’ to ‘erotic massage’. What you do next is totally up to you, but if you want to draw the suspense and sexual tension out even longer, there are some amazing things you can do that don’t involve penetration.

This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan UK

Related How to Master the Sex Talk with Your Partner

Read more about sex

More From

Sex & Relationships

10 Foolproof First Messages Guaranteed to Get You a Response on Tinder
16 Guys on What They Really Think When Women “Play Hard to Get”
You’ll Orgasm in Minutes With This Oral Sex Trick, Apparently