Sex is awesome! It makes you happier (hello, endorphins), healthier (y’know, sexercise) and can bring you closer to your partner. But what if you’re just not in the mood… like, ever? It happens. But why not try these five easy ways to boost your sex drive, and see if you can quickly amp up your libido (for free!)?
1. Catch some Zzzzs
A legit excuse to spend more time in bed? Yes, please! But seriously, tiredness is a key culprit for lowering your libido according to numerous health surveys. The reason is fairly obvious: sex takes time, energy and effort and if you’re zonked from a long day (or week), chances are the last thing you feel like is writhing around naked playing seductress.
Besides, if you’re with the majority of us who almost always only get dirty in bed, then climbing into your covers feeling pooped means that when your head hits the pillow, you’ll conk out before a single sexy thought has had a chance to cross your mind.
2. Wear matching underwear
There is honestly no greater feeling on earth (okay, maybe except for a big O, and when Bonang replies to your tweet) than rocking your day knowing you’ve got a matching pair underneath your outfit. You feel sexy, smug, put-together and ready for pretty much anything – even sex when you get home, or a quickie during your lunch break.
And guys are so visual: peeling off your clothes to reveal twinning lingerie – even if it’s a simple as a black bra and briefs – is sure to perk him up (if you know what I mean). But the key here is how matching underwear makes you feel: invincible, in control, and so. Damn. Hot.
3. Schedule in compliments
A compliment a day helps keep frigidity at bay – it’s a well known saying, don’t you know? Okay, it’s not… but it should be. Often we’re so caught up in the everyday grind of adulting that the last thing we remember is to pay our man – or our ourselves – a genuine compliment. And what feels better than when someone tells you they dig your hair, or that the dress you’re wearing is downright awesome?
Compliment him and he’ll not only feel valued and appreciated, but it’ll give a much-needed kick to the romance in your relationship. And telling yourself that you rock is just as important – confidence, after all, is the sexiest attribute of them all.
My favourite way to tell my guy he’s looking especially fine? Sexting. It’s filled with mystery (you’re not standing right in front of him), creates suspense (he’s only going to see you later) and, especially in a long-term relationship – unless you’re the Martha Stewart of sex and have done this daily since you guys got together. In which case, go you!
4. Get cleverer with chores
Resentment at home can be a huge mood killer. Even a day filled with raunchy sexts is hard to follow through on if you get home only to have to fight your way through dirty laundry to get into bed.
Without wanting to sound like your mom, make sure the house chores are evenly split, eliminating resentment. And try and keep one area clean and clear at all times, even if it’s only the sofa or your bed. It means there’s a sexy space ready for you to rock and roll in – no fights necessary!
5. Pretend like he’s a total stranger
Y’know how in Modern Family Phil and Claire Dunphy have this thing where they assume characters and meet at a random hotel bar every now and then? It’s funny and a little cheesy, but the idea is sound. Break up your routine, escape reality and treat each other like you’re on a first date again and bam! The chemistry’s back.
It’s a similar idea to scheduling in regular date nights, except with the added sizzle of some role-play and an away-from-home destination.