10 Guys in Casual Relationships Admit Why They Won't Settle Down

In an age where much of our romantic energy is expended on swiping either left or right, it’s safe to say that dating can be tough. Once we’ve overcome the initial dating jitters and actually start to catch feelings for someone, the realisation that they may not feel the same is enough to send us right back home. If you’ve ever wondered why someone you know likes you won’t settle down, you’ll be grateful for this AskMen thread on Reddit.

1 Usually two main reasons

‘One, I like them a lot but deep down I know that it realistically won’t last, and I don’t want to waste her time. Two, cliche, but I’m terrified of commitment. And know if I dated said girl I would eventually push them away, and put them through unnecessary emotional trauma because I’m a selfish piece of shit.’

2 I’ve noticed I have a bad pattern

‘Where I may meet someone where, and our friendship might take some time to grow into a relationship. Generally, we’ll be hanging out or seeing each other for a few months, then I meet someone else and we end up with a firey, passionate spark really quickly and I go for them instead.

This has happened three times now, and I’m starting to realise the firey, passionate spark right at the beginning may not be the best, and I should take the time to foster stronger relationships.’

3 Because she’s much farther along in life than I am

‘She has a great career and all of her shit together. I am still struggling to find a decent job and TBH don’t really have my shit together at all. I know I’d just be a burden at this point of my life and I really want her to have a perfect partner/life and that’s more than I can offer ATM.’

4 She was extremely religious and I’m atheist

‘She didn’t really care, but I knew at some point there was going to be a problem there, probably more on my side. Eventually, we stopped seeing each other and I still think that was the right choice.’

5 My perfectionism makes me incredibly insecure

‘I don’t know how dating works.’


6 Sometimes you just don’t want a romantic partner

‘Or you don’t want to be exclusive with them. In the past, it took me a while (sometimes weeks, sometimes months) to want to commit to a girl.’

7 Because I’m too young

‘And I think I should be focusing on my career and me first at this point in my life. At least that’s what everyone around me has said.’


8 We met through a mutual friend and became FWB

‘Things escalated a bit more and you could say we are dating/seeing each other. Its been around six months since we met but I haven’t asked her to be my GF as I’m afraid of commitment. To be honest and I know that ultimately our paths won’t be compatible in the long run. I’m just enjoying our time together and seeing how things turns out for both of us.’

9 Smoking

‘I can’t take the smell, even if she only smokes outside it still lingers.’

10 Life is better when the relationship is undefined

‘Yet you both actively chose on your own to behave as boyfriend and girlfriend. As soon as it’s “official”, the obligations role in and suddenly I’m in a box.’

Read more about relationships

More From

Sex & Relationships

Here’s Exactly Why You Cry During Sex and What You Can Do About It
5 Signs You’re Definitely Not Ready For a Relationship
These Are the Reasons Certain People Choose *Not* to Cheat