No-Go Nooky Zones

Trust us, these locales are not the place to get randy.

Trust us, these locales are not the place to get randy.

Your Flatmate’s Bedroom: Aside from the fact that it’s just plain wrong and disrespectful, you do not want this kinky karma coming right back at you (read: you sleeping in her wet spot next time).

The Toilet: The porcelain throne may be a convenient height for seated booty, but we have one word for you: bacteria. The average toilet has 49 germs per square inch.

Your Walk-In Cupboard: Oh yes, this spot will make you moan – but it’ll be in pain! The average wardrobe railing is not designed to hold 140kgs – the average weight of two people.

The Car: It might seem like your own private love cocoon, but don’t forget you’re parked in a public place – and cars have lots of windows.

The Beach: Hmmm… all that sun, sand and semi-nakedness… not to mention parents with young children who are also looking for a quiet spot the behind the dunes.

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