1. Pants never fit.
‘If the waist is the right size, you can’t get them over your thighs,’ is the National Poem of BigThighLandia. I don’t know how many belts I own, but it’s in the double digits, and my tailor knows my measurements (36-32-brick shithouse) like the back of his own damn hand.
2. Crossing your legs.
Not gonna lie: it can be hard! Especially when under a low table or on a stool. Like, if you have big thighs and can cross your legs while sitting on a stool, I think you should be given some sort of congressional medal.
3. Thigh highs?
More like LOL Highs! You can’t keep those things up with rubber cement.
Related: Yes Beyonce’s Thighs Touch, Big Deal
4. Chub Rub.
Chub rub is real and it HURTS. You own countless pairs of bike shorts, various creams and salves, and have stock in baby powder. And yet, sometimes it still happens. Whoever cures chub rub once and for all will be a billionaire. Can someone get Steven Hawking on this?
5. The Dark Patches!
That mysteriously appear on your inner thighs from years of rubbing. At first I thought I had a skin condition until my mom set me straight on this part of my family inheritance. Some kids get a million dollar trust fund, I got chronic discouloration! Po-tay-toe, po-tah-toe!
6. Finding inventive ways to hack your shorts.
Listen, with your gorgeous hammocks, you need to cut open your shorts to let them suckers breathe. I’ve done stuff like this and this to too many pairs of shorts to count.
7. Shorts riding up in the middle.
The parts of your shorts that cover your inner thigh just want to creep on up and be at one with your cooch. What can I say? It feels good to be loved!
Related: 15 Short Cuts to a Better Body
8. Pants ripped from the rubbing.
Shopping better be your most favourite thing to do ever because you go through jeans like whoa. What? Those denim manufacturers are not ready for your jelly.
9. The thigh smack when you run.
Your thighs are so proud of you for exercising that they’re giving you a round of applause! #blessed
10. Your boyfriend has smaller thighs than you do.
Many guys are built straight as an arrow so it means sharing their denim is off limits. Although you have learned to love your powerful, awesome thighs, the time you tried on your boyfriend’s jeans and they wouldn’t fit over your knees was a bit of a blow to your ego. That said, lots of brands are now making boyfriend jeans for ladies and so you can rock the look with the skinniest of them.
11. Finding bikini bottoms is a freaking nightmare.
And one pieces usually aren’t any better, especially if you don’t have an enormous rack. You live for the mix and match sale section or else you’d have to go naked at the beach.
12. You’re healthier?
Science says that having big ol’ thighs is good for you. Well, that’s what they say today; check back tomorrow for when science is like ‘lol gotcha, thunder thighs!’ Science can be such a D.
13. Guys think they can be trashy to you.
Something about big thighs makes some dudes feel like they can say lewd shit to you. Listen, buddy, the only time these things are gonna be wrapped around your head is when I’m choking you out for being such a scuzz.
14. Name calling :/
Even though you were called ‘thunder thighs’ by some uncreative idiots in school (get better insults, dummies!), you’ve grown to love your large and most definitely in charge thighs. Sure, outfitting them is sometimes a challenge but you have to admit you look damn good when you do. Team Thunder Thighs for LIFE!
This article was originally published on cosmopolitan.com