Your guide to (successfully) having underwater sex

Yes, you still need lube, people.

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Can we all just go ahead and admit that underwater sex just… isn’t that great? I’m not saying you shouldn’t try it. All I’m saying is that I think we all need to start getting realistic about this fantasy we may or may not have only seen in the movies.

It’s dry (even though you’re literally soaking wet), it’s slippery, and you low-key may or may not feel like you’re getting waterboarded half the time. But, you guys, it doesn’t have to be that bad.

Let’s face it: Despite the insanely dry vag and the constant fear of getting waterboarded, there is still something inherently sexy about getting freaky underwater. Below, we have two experts answer all of your underwater sex questions so that you can finally have the aquatic bone sesh of your dreams. You’re welc!

I’ve never done it underwater before and I’m a bit nervous. What should I expect?

Just because the water’s wet, doesn’t mean you will be too. ‘The biggest misconception about underwater sex is that since it’s wet, everything will be sliding together perfectly, but in actuality, water makes things a lot more difficult,’ says Emily Morse, PhD, host of the SiriusXM radio show and podcast, Sex With Emily.

‘Having sex underwater can actually wash away your natural lubrication, which is why using a lubricant is necessary.’ In particular, Morse recommends using a silicone lubricant so that ‘things will be able to slide with more ease.’

How do I make underwater sex more fun and suck less?

Trade up your fantasy of doing it in a body of water with doing it by a body of water. Compromise! ‘Honestly, having sex by the water is better than actually being in the water,’ Morse says. ‘So be sure to have towels nearby if you decide to move the sexcapades to land.’ When you get it on next to the water, you still get the sexy aesthetics as if you were boning inside the water, but just slightly better and more comfy.

If you’re absolutely dead-set on getting it on below sea level, LifeStyles brand ambassador, certified sex coach, and author of All the F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life, Gigi Engle recommends making the experience more enjoyable by incorporating your fave sex toy (just make sure it’s water submersible) and using lots of lube.

I’m legit terrified of getting some sort of nasty water disease from sexing underwater. How do I keep things clean down there?

Avoid having sex in public bodies of water all-together (sry!). ‘It can lead to yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis,’ Engle warns.

The good news is, your bathtub and shower are probably safe bets in terms of water-born illnesses, except you should still be wary of getting a UTI from vaginal dryness, explains Morse. ‘If a penis is plunging in and out of you, and you’re not adding a lubricant, you could experience vaginal dryness, which could lead to vaginal tears and bacterial vaginosis or a yeast infection.’

TBH, I feel like underwater sex is kind of awk. What positions can I try to make it more enjoyable?

Well, it depends on what sort of body of water you’re in:

  •  Pool: Doggy-style and standing positions will work best underwater in a pool,’ Morse suggests. ‘You can grab onto the edges of the pool for support, or use the steps to sit.’
  • Bathtub: ‘Sit in your partner’s lap, with each knee draped over one of their legs,’ suggests Engle. ‘This will give them plenty of clit access.’ If you’re looking to do some oral in the tub, Engle suggests having your partner sit on the edge of the tub while you ‘sit in the tub or kneel below them to give them oral sex.’
  • Shower: ‘Personally, I would recommend oral sex, with one partner kneeling away from the water and the receiver under it so they can feel the water pressure and sensation on their penis or clitoris simultaneously,’ says Engle. If you’re not really feeling oral, Engle recommends a three-legged stand. ‘One person (the giver) stands on two legs and lifts one of the other person’s legs to their waist for shallow entry.’

What’s the best body of water to get it on in?

It may sound vanilla AF, but your shower (with lots of lube) is probs the winner, according to Morse. ‘I’m sorry to squash your underwater sex dreams, but most bodies of water have their own unique risks,’ she says. ‘Beware of the salt in the ocean, bacteria in lakes, and chemicals in pools and hot tubs.’ Oh, and let’s not forget the fact that having sex in public is illegal, people… so sorry, I don’t make the rules!

This post originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com

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