20 ways to ensure you orgasm every time you masturbate

Let’s channel some Samantha Jones energy, mmk?

masturbate, masturbation, solo sex, sex, orgasm

You don’t need me to tell you about how amazing it is to masturbate. I hope (and pray to our dear lord Lizzo) that it’s a sensation you’re already familiar with. But if you’re using this article as a means to improve your overall pleasure in the bedroom, you’ve come to the right place. Welcome.

Now, I fully agree that sometimes masturbating should be as simple as just touching yourself. But if you’re getting bored or just want to mix things up a smidge, there are ways to take your solo sessions to even new levels (I say in the most non-earnest voice as possible).

And since you probably have all the time in the world right about now to focus on your orgasms—better known as the one thing that’s keeping you sane and healthy right now (you know, besides bread), here are some must-know tips in upping your masturbating game.

1 Use a different toy

Sometimes the best way to improve your masturbating session is to introduce new playthings into it. If you’re a regular suction-clit vibrator fanatic, may I interest you in, say, a bullet vibrator? A rabbit vibrator? An anal plug? A dildo? Your fingers? All of these options create a different feeling on your clitoris (or wherever you want to use it), which can easily break-up your standard masturbating technique and introduce a new way or orgasming.

2 Set the mood

Sorry for the cliche, but seriously: it helps. Whether you have a Tinder match who you can sext with to get your sexy thoughts started, or you want to subscribe to audio porn sites, doing a little warm-up is going to make the grand finale *that much* hotter.

3 Try an A.M. session

If you regularly masturbate at night or right before you go to bed, try doing it as soon as you wake up. There are tons of benefits to masturbating in the morning. One COSMO writer wrote that it’s ‘the key to dealing with dick bosses everywhere’ and just sets the right tone for the day ahead.

4 Set a goal

Like marathon training, it helps to identify tangible goals you want to hit during your session. Not to go all coach on you, but figure out what that is and commit yourself to getting it. An example: Maybe you’re having a hard time reaching orgasm with your new partner and don’t have an answer when they ask, ‘what do you like?’ In your solo sessions, find out what that is by trying new things. Then, next time they ask, you might have a confident answer (and a more satisfying partnered session).

5 Bring in some props that aren’t necessarily sex toys

Yes, sex toys and vibes are great, but you could also mix things up by using what you already have around the house. Lucky enough to have a shower with a removable head or massage setting? Use the water pressure to stimulate your clit (or just slide down in your tub and let the spray from overhead do the same thing).

6 Watch yourself

You know how you get hyped up when you put on lingerie? The same feeling applies to setting up a mirror to watch yourself masturbate. Really! So why not do both?

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COVID-19 Lock Down ‘Stay Sane’ Programme: Date yourself.
Does the whole ‘don’t touch anybody’ thing apply to sex? Yes! But don’t worry, according to
a pretty straight-talking release issued by The New York City Department of Health (NYDOH), ‘You are your safest sex partner. Masturbation will not spread COVID-19,
especially if you wash your hands (and any sex toys) with soap and water for at least 20
seconds before and after sex’
Right! Wash hands, smoke a joint, wash hands, lube up with @kiskanu Intimacy Oil, wash
hands, get jiggy with own pretty prink parts, wash hands and toys, smoke a joint, wash
hands… If you can fit in a canna-gasm between all that not-so-sexy santisation, good for
you!
Until then, we’ll be, erm, washing our hands…
Image by @foriawellness
#lockdownsa #coronavirus #socialdistancing #staysane #kushkushcommunity #cannagasm
#cannabissoloplay

A post shared by KushKush (@kushkushonline) on

7 Know the movements

Try out one of the four motions that women reportedly love on their clitoris when they masturbate: up and down, circular, side to side, and rapid pushing (pulsating), according to the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy. Move your fingers in one of these four directions and test out what feels best to you—or combine two movements simultaneously for some ultra-fun multitasking.

8 Turn on the bops

Just like how music helps your workout, it also has an amazing effect on setting the mood for your ~sexy~ time too. Create a Spotify playlist with all the songs that get your juices flowing (lol, ew, sorry).

9 Own your curves

A recent study from the University of Texas at Austin found a link between positive body image and sexual satisfaction. In other words, focus on loving and touching those perfect curves and crevices on your body, not dwelling on the areas that you wish were more toned. Know this: your bod lets you experience these amazing Os and feelings, so worship it, girl.

10 Switch positions

While you’re probably used to lying on your back and using your fingers or toys to stimulate your clitoris, try moving around and masturbating in different positions. Sit up on your knees and press your clitoris up against a vibrator or try moving your body into doggie and simulating the position.

11 Avoid spectatoring

Better known as looking in on yourself when you masturbate from an outside experience instead of enjoying the physical sensation itself. It’s easy to get caught up in your surroundings and distractions, but take deep breaths (try holding your breath for 10 seconds at a time), close your eyes, and zero in on what you’re feeling instead of what’s going on around you. Hone in on the orgasm so that you can feel all of it.

12 Keep moving

It’s tempting to let your vibrator do all the work, but stay in the moment by rocking your hips to the rhythm or going in circles and back-and-forth motions. The continuous movement will keep the vibrations from overwhelming you. Plus, you might even find a new favourite position as you move around.

13 Back off right before you orgasm

The concept is called edging. ‘Don’t just race for the orgasm. Tease yourself. Caress every inch of yourself long before you dip between your thighs,’ recommends Self Love Coach Caitin Grace. ‘Once you finally move to your clitoris slow everything down. Use soft gentle strokes amongst some hard and fast. Bring yourself to the edge of orgasm and then slow everything down. Go through this cycle a few times and just ride the waves of pleasure as long as you can.’

14 Let yourself get hands-y

‘When you masturbate, caress yourself with one hand whilst the other one is getting busy on the clitoris,’ says Florence Barkway, half of Florence and Reed, the online sex educators and occasional porn directors behind the sex and body positivity YouTube channel Come Curious. ‘Touching certain parts of the body can make your orgasms even more intense.’

‘For some women, it might be the breasts and nipples, for others, the stomach! It may look silly but if you rub your tummy like you’re hungry, with just a little bit of pressure on the lower stomach, it can lead to a tremendous orgasm.’ Get creative with where you do it and what you do it with. ‘You can masturbate standing up in the kitchen, lying in the bath, be experimental,’ says Reed Amber, the other half of Come Curious.

15 Use some lube

McCombs recommends putting a coin-sized amount of lube onto your index and middle fingers and gently massaging it around your clitoris and inner labia (the folds inside the larger folds that make up most of your vagina). Sure, you might have enough natural vaginal lubrication to start with, but if you don’t, extra lube (no matter where it comes from) will make it a lot more comfortable.

16 Don’t limit your focus to just the vagina

Carol Queen, PhD, co-author of The Sex & Pleasure Book: Good Vibrations Guide to Great Sex for Everyone recommends also bringing in nipple stimulation into masturbation or grabbing your butt or upper thighs, just to see if any of that feels good to you. Part of that is to get a sense of where you’re the most sensitive and what kind of touch feels best for you. Plus, by finding those spots on other parts of your body that feel really good, you’re increasing your arousal, which will make touch feel different (and probably better), which is always great.

17 Avoid jack-hammering your clitoris

McCombs recommends some more low-key playful touching, like running your fingers along your inner labia and along the sides of your clitoris, all the way down toward the entrance of your vagina. It’s just a good starting point to get some blood flowing down there, which helps increase pleasure and arousal. Plus, you’re getting a feel for what you like and you can always keep repeating whatever is working for you from there.

18 Don’t start with a vibrator

Queen says that while you might have a better success rate with a toy, using your hands in the beginning can be a great way to learn about your body. Plus, it’s also more comparable to the sensations caused by a partner’s hands, so if you have any interest in partner sex, it’ll help you transition from one to the other more smoothly and gives you information for your partner about how you like to be touched.

19 Get some visual aids

Rachel Venning, Babeland’s co-founder and the co-author of Moregasm: Babeland’s Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex, says, ‘The biggest sex organ is between the ears, so engage your brain as well. Remember sexy times from your past, check out arousing online images, or read erotica. Whatever you need to do to fuel that fire.’

20 You don’t have to just lie on your back

Wilde recommends lifting your legs as high as possible (we’re talking knees on your shoulders here) when you masturbate to help you reach the internal parts of your clitoris, or turning on your stomach and seeing if that feels good to you. It’s harder to reach in that position, but some really love it, so why not try?

This post originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com

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