What exactly is tantric massage? How do you do it? And is it all just some sort of hippie nonsense where you sit in silence hoping an orgasm will come out of thin air? Is it any different to a sexual massage or yoni massage? We’re answering all your questions and giving you the tools to reach tantric Narnia. With a whole host of benefits (sexual *and* spiritual), tantric massage is ideal for both body and mind.
What is a tantric massage?
With roots dating back to ancient times, tantric massage is all about reaching tranquillity and relaxation with a partner or alone. Engaging all of your energies and emotions, tantric massage aims to help clear the mind and reach a state of acceptance.
‘It’s not “one size fits all”, it’s about being present in the moment and accepting ourselves,’ says tantric expert Nadia Deen from the Intimology Institute. ‘Orgasms are great but this is not the focus of a tantric massage, rather it should be a delightful by-product. Primarily it’s about prolonging the intimate experience and controlling the sexual release.’
Benefits of tantric massage also include everything from sustained sexual stamina, pain relief and helping to improve sleep. Sounds good to us!
How to give a tantric massage
We’ve compiled a step-by-step guide with help from Nadia to take you from curious performer to certified pro.
‘Be in the right frame of mind’ says Nadia. Make sure you have the time to fully indulge in pleasure. Turn off your phone. If you live with others, make sure you won’t be disturbed by their presence or noise. There’s nothing more vibe killing than having to rush.
Set the mood. Your surroundings are just as important as the massage itself. Consider the temperature, look, sound and feel of the room. Scented candles are great for creating a sensual ambience.
Connect with your partner or masseuse. ‘Try holding on to your partner’s gaze and slowly synchronising your breathing,’ suggests Nadia.
The massage itself. Have your partner lie on their front. Using warm oil, start in the middle of the back and firmly massage out towards the limbs. Imagine spreading the flow of energy around the body. Spend time massaging and touching neglected areas such as the balls of their feet, between fingers and the back of their arms.
‘Remember; this is a mindful practice so be mindful their body’s reactions and needs at that moment. Spend at least a good 30mins engaging their whole body, front and back.’ advises our expert.
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Focus on the erogenous zones, such as breasts, inner thighs and lips, but avoiding the genital area for now. Try using different styles of touch. The key to a tantric massage is the delay and prolonging of release, so there’s no fun is going straight to the clitoris or penis head.
Using liberal amounts of oil, start by placing one hand on your partner’s heart and the other their genitals, focusing on connecting the flow of energy between them both. Starting with the perineum area (located between the anus and vaginal opening/under the testicles), gently and very slowly massage the area with balls of your fingers.
‘Always be mindful of how their body reacts’
‘When your partner is ready,’ advises Nadia ‘gently circle around the clitoris/head of the penis, always mindful of how their body reacts. At this point, when you feel your partner is at their peak, an internal massage may be desired.’
Finally, spend some quiet time after the tantric massage together and acknowledge any feelings and emotions it may have evoked.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan UK
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