Technical Excellence

Master the art of the hand job.

To master masturbation, you need to understand your man’s genital hot spots. As with other art forms, perfection requires practice – and this is when your vibrator gets to have some fun.

Get a ‘life-sized’ vibrator or dildo to practise on. (You could also use a cucumber.) You may need to steady it by wedging it into a chest of drawers and closing a drawer on it. Make sure you’ve applied sufficient lubrication before trying out the instructions below. Your vibrator won’t be able to give you feedback – but at least you can get an idea of the style.

THE OIL FALL

Cup your hand around his testi¬cles, spreading out your fingers slightly. Ideally, your hand should be over and around the testicles rather than just underneath. With the other hand, pour some slightly warmed oil over the head of his penis so it slides down and runs onto his testicles. He’ll experience this as a kind of flooding sensation.

THE PUSH-AND-PULL

Grip the penis with both hands, one above the other. Glide your hands away from each other, then bring them back together. Repeat these back-and-forth movements fluidly for maximum effect.

JUICING A LEMON

Grasping the penis at the base with one hand, run the palm of the other hand over and around the head 10 times in one direction and 10 times in the other. Visually, this looks as if you’re juicing a lemon. For intense sensation, use the hand at the base to move the penis in the direction opposite to that of your top hand.

TWISTING THE NIGHT AWAY

With both hands gripped around the penis, twist them in opposite directions as if you’re wringing out the washing. Then twist them the other way. Work your way up and down the shaft while doing this.

THE ROCKET LAUNCH

Run one gripped hand, followed by the other, down the penis from top to bottom. Then run one hand, then the other, back up the penis. Next, run your hands down twice, then back up twice. Repeat these strokes three times down and three times up, and so on – all the way to 10 strokes down and 10 up.

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