Sex With a New Guy

James Savage tells us how to take the cringe out of an awkward situation

You meet a guy. You flirt. You figure out whose house you’re going to. And, well… you go for it! I’ve been told that girls can feel a little uncomfortable in these situations – or at least the morning after. It’s pretty weird for guys too. The whole dating/shagging world has been turned on its head. The rules I thought were in are now out and the rules that are in, are, well… hazy at best. First-time sex can be awkward but there are a few universal dos and don’ts.

Guys are very sensitive when it comes to their manhood, particularly reactions to its size, shape and flaccidity/rigidity. Even if he has a penis the size of a toothpick, it would be best if you didn’t laugh in his face. Assuming that it’s not a toothpick, we react well to shock-and-awe tactics. ‘Wow, it’s huge!’ usually helps us overcome any confidence issues we might have.
DO: Tell him it’s huge!
DON’T: Laugh at it, even though it may be a joke.

Most guys are open-minded about sex. So it goes without saying that we appreciate a girl who’s a freak in the sack. That doesn’t mean we want to discover your whole repertoire on the first night. The anticipation of an act is part of the excitement and a little bit of mystery keeps us interested. Your nymphomaniac past (how many boyfriends you’ve had, home videos you’ve starred in) is best kept as your little secret.
DO: Try to be uninhibited but remember it’s more important that you act and feel natural.
DON’T: Tell him you learnt to suppress your gag reflex.

Try to avoid the ‘We’ve just had sex for the first time and it’s the morning after’ mistakes – such as telling him you’ve fallen in love with him. Breakfast in bed is out – go to a café. The morning-breath kiss is also a no-no. On the other hand, morning-after sex is in!
DO: Surprise him in the morning with some under-the-covers lovin’.
DON’T: Tell him you love him.

So the sex thing didn’t quite happen or, if it did, it was horrible and short-lived, and you were thinking about work. You could try to sleep next to him or bail out. There’s nothing worse than waking up next to someone you never want to see again. True, you’re probably hating yourself for being there in the first place, and you’re undoubtedly giving yourself a hard time for thinking about escaping through the window. But it all adds up to a small amount of self-inflicted pain when compared with the horrific experience of being polite and hanging around.
DO: Find all your stuff – you don’t want to have to come back for your fave bangle.
DON’T: Hesitate. Get the hell out of there while you still can!