Multiple orgasms are the holy grail of women’s pleasure. Everyone knows someone who swears she can pull it off, but many women don’t experience multiples themselves. If you’ve never had multiples, don’t give up just yet.
OMGYES, Indiana University and the Kinsey Institute teamed up to deliver the most detailed information so far about how to achieve multiple orgasms. Through in-depth interviews with 1 000 women, and a nationally representative survey of an additional 1 055 women, OMGYES compiled a how-to guide for having mind-blowing multiples, backed up by IRL techniques from the women who have them. Consider this your definitive multiple-orgasm reference. Best of luck to you all!
1. After your first orgasm, remove your fingers from your clitoris. Of the 47 percent of women who reported being able to have multiple orgasms, a little more than half said they couldn’t stand any pressure or touching on their clits right after orgasm no. 1, even if they typically find it easier to come from clit stimulation in general. In a video demonstration for OMGYES, a woman named Lee (who’s been having multiples for years) said she’s ‘so sensitive after that first orgasm that it would be like way too intense to directly touch the clit,’ so she prefers to switch things up and stimulate her labia for orgasms no. 2 and beyond.
Lydia Daniller, an OMGYES co-founder, echoed that sentiment. ‘Something we heard was that a lot of women felt they couldn’t have multiples because right after that first orgasm, their clits were super-sensitive,’ she told Cosmopolitan.com. After all that blood rushing directly to your most sensitive body part, any touching can feel almost like pain for some women.
Related: Why Can’t I Orgasm?
2. Treat your body like a brand-new one after each orgasm. While it seems counterintuitive to not do the great thing that gets you off every single time, it doesn’t necessarily work when going for seconds (and thirds and fourths, etc, omg). Like the clit thing, that’s because your body is too hyped after orgasm no. 1 and needs something new to ~*~MiX iT uP~*~ for round two.
‘Something we heard again and again was that if you treat your body after that first orgasm like a whole new body, you can have multiples,’ Daniller said. How fun! Just when you thought you had all your spots located, you get to start all over again. Aren’t bodies just the best? (Sort of?)
3. Try making a ‘clit sandwich’ for orgasm no. 2. Study participant Sidney describes how she comes after her first orgasm: ‘One of the greatest things that I learnt from an old lover is to squeeze the lips and then move them, and I could achieve a second orgasm really quickly, and I could keep doing that with the squeezing of the lips a number of times.’ This move is described as a ‘clit sandwich’, where you gently sandwich the clit between your labia majora and pulse. Sidney is one of the few women who says she doesn’t need a recovery period at all — which is pretty rare, so wow, go Sidney.
4. Give your partner Very Specific Instructions. Masturbating is, by far, the best way to learn what makes your body have multiple Os. According to Rob Perkins, an OMGYES co-founder, being direct with your partner about what you want is the best bet women have at achieving multiple-orgasm gold. ‘What we found in these studies is that women who speak specifically about what they like are eight times more likely to be happy in their relationship, and six times more likely to be sexually satisfied,’ he said. And what could be more sexually satisfying than being sexually satisfied multiple times in a row?
5. Keep practising and you’ll get better at it. Perkins said that many women in the study didn’t find out they could have multiple orgasms until they were older — probably just because by then they’ve had more time to experiment with their own vulvas. So while the number they reached for women who can have multiple orgasms is only 47 percent, he surmises that it’s probably higher than that, because younger women just haven’t unlocked their full orgasmic potential yet.
YAY. Something to look forward to, if you’re a millennial woman who longs for extended periods of bliss but just can’t quite get there. Good things come (and come again) (?) to those who wait, apparently.
6. And don’t envy anyone else’s multiple orgasms. Multiple orgasms, unfortunately, just aren’t for everyone. It’s not a defect, your clit and vagina aren’t betraying you or anything, it’s just something that only works for some lucky women. Getting frustrated that you aren’t having them yet just makes it harder to relax and let it happen.
A word of advice: if at first you only have one orgasm, try, try the clit sandwich again. The road to success is paved with failure, but how can you consider an activity that at least results in one orgasm a failure? Count your orgasms like the blessings they are…
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com