The 6 Worst Kinds of Sex

We’d love to say that all sex is great sex – but it just ain’t true. Hands up if you’ve gritted your teeth through these nasty encounters.

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We’d love to say that all sex is great sex – but it just ain’t true. Hands up if you’ve gritted your teeth through these nasty encounters:

1. He-watches-too-much-porn sex. This is the guy who has to be told, gently and repeatedly, that no, you’re not ready to replace your usual conditioner with semen, even though it is supposed to have great beauty benefits.

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2. Is-he-really-hungry? sex. So we’re agreed that it’s a huge turn-on when he does things that let you know that he really, really wants you. But when he starts guzzling at your bits, making noises as if he’s finally allowing himself to eat a roll after months of Banting, your instinct is to protect yourself.

3. Is-this-it? sex. The signs were all there – he’s got the moves like Jagger, his eyes could set a building on fire, and he gives you tingles every time he touches you. Until the Big Reveal, when you find out he’s got a bit of false advertising going on.

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4. Things-just-don’t-gel sex. You really, really like each and you so, so want it to work – and it looks like it’s going to, until you notice that every time you push, he pulls; every time you go forward, he does too. It’s just not happening.

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5. Sweaty, sweaty, sweaty sex. There’s sex that’s hot because you two are on fire, and then there’s sex that’s hot because it’s 37 degrees outside, and by the time you’re slipping and sliding all over each other, you really wish you hadn’t started. Especially when his chest hair sticks to you. Eew.

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6. He-likes-what? sex. You like to think you’re open-minded but, really, could he not have given you fair warning before he did that?

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