Anal sex is a lot like sushi: a few decades ago, the average person might not have taken part in either regularly. Who could’ve predicted the meteoric rise of the booty, or the spicy tuna roll for that matter? (Okay, anal sex is also not at all like sushi in practically every other way, but that is not our concern today.)
Whether you’re new to it or whether it’s been on the menu for ages, here are some positions to try, arranged from most entry-level vanilla to more advanced undertakings. But do remember the Anal Safety Rules that you (*sigh*) never learnt in school: use buckets of lube and a condom, no switching from back hole to front hole, and if anything hurts, have bae stop, so you can relax and figure out whether you want to proceed. And if you don’t even want to give it a go in the first place, of course that’s perfectly fine. Viva consent!
1 The Beginner’s Bend
Get in a spooning position but curl up into more of a ball. The whole loving/protected feeling of inner spoondom will help you relax, plus if you need further comfort, you are conveniently already in the foetal position. Have him talk you through it, go slowly and all that, but what’s actually going to make this work for you is the buzzy vibrator you’re gonna put between your legs. If the vibrator does its job — and it will — you will realise anal is not something you ‘should try once’ but can actually feel pretty incredible.
2 Bottoms Up
Lie on your stomach, putting a pillow under your pelvis for comfort and easier access. Have him rub your back, your legs, and your bum until you’re feeling fine. If he starts with a drizzle of lube down your crack and some gently probing and well-lubed fingers, it will help you feel 87% more enthusiastic about him going all in. And by all means, slip a hand or vibrator between your legs to give yourself the kind of stimulation you (and pretty much every other woman on the planet) probably need to come. The more of us who ‘fess up to this basic biological fact, the better it will be for all of us.
3 The Standing Slow Slide
Anal is not the kind of sex that makes for a good quickie (oh, hell no), but you can give it that kind of must-have-you-now passion with a standing pose. Push a chair against a wall and put a leg on the seat (or arm, depending on height). Brace yourself on the wall and have him enter from behind, thrusting slowly in and up. Toss your head back, arch your back and feel all romance novel-y — or as romance novel-y as one can feel mid-anal.
4 The Erotic Examination
Try some role-play to get the butt sex happening. Get onto a sturdy table (a bed works too) and lie on your back, bending your knees and grasping onto your ankles (if you do yoga, it’s Happy Baby Pose). This open, vulnerable position lends itself to all kinds of scenarios: spa visit with a masseuse who turns you on so much you beg for a happy ending? Alien abduction with requisite anal probe? Don’t worry if your idea seems crazy or weird — it’s fantasy, that’s kind of the point. PS It works best if he takes his sweet time examining/massaging/assessing you. Helps everyone relax, and delayed gratification always makes things hotter.
5 Double Trouble
Double penetration, simultaneously being penetrated in front and back, generally requires two penises, their accompanying two men, and long tedious conversations about boundaries. But you can skip all that by switching out dude no. 2 with an agreeable dildo, either vibrating or not. Facing his feet, mount your partner, taking as long as you need to take him in from behind. Once everything seems good back there, slide your dildo/vibrator into your vaj and start rocking up and down. If you want to go for the trifecta, rub your clit at the same time and try not to die of sheer pleasure.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com