1 Why do you want the lights off? Half the fun of sex is looking at your partner’s naked body. Sex with the lights off is like going to one of those dine-in movie theatres blindfolded.
2 Do you want us to finish if you’re not into it? It happens. You’re up for fooling around with your partner even though you’re not in the mood but then you can’t hide the lack of enthusiasm. We’re left looking at your bored expression wondering if we should even bother finishing or just call it a day.
3 Do you like wearing lingerie? Or hate it? Or… ? Yeah, we find lingerie sexy but we’re just going to take it off of you. And it doesn’t look very comfortable. Just tell us how you feel about lingerie.
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4 How rough is ‘rough sex’? Be really specific when you ask for rough sex because everyone has a different definition. Is it light spanking? Or is it throwing you onto the bed and flogging you while you claw our back and spit in our mouth? We’re going to err on the side of light spanking until you say otherwise but please don’t just assume we’re on the same wavelength.
5 What’s the difference between taking charge and just doing whatever we want? Yes, we’re totally willing to take charge but then don’t complain about us being ‘too bossy’ later. We can’t read minds.
6 Did you just orgasm? Or are you about to orgasm? Or are you just really, really into it right now? Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it’s tough to tell what your body language is saying.
7 What do you want me to do right now? I know you’re grabbing my hips and sort of thrusting into me but there is NO rhythm to this.
8 Where should I look to not be creepy? Do you want me to stare at you? Or should I keep my eyes closed? Screw it, I’m just going to bury my face in your neck so you can’t see anything.
9 How much kissing is appropriate/necessary? Am I not kissing enough? Am I kissing too much and distracting you? Should we just not even bother with that because being inside you is way more intimate than tonsil hockey?
10 Why aren’t you playing with your boobs more? If I had boobs I’d be touching them all the time.
11 Are you putting my hands on your butt because you think I like grabbing it or because you want a finger in your butt? You’re pushing things really close to your crack, and I do not want to have you scream at me for crossing a line (or in this case, crossing a hole).
12 HOW ARE YOU SO ANIMATED POST-ORGASM? How are you not tired and ready to go to sleep after sex?
This article was originally published on Cosmopolitan.com