It takes more than Netflix binges and lazy Sunday morning spooning sex to keep the fire alive in a relationship (although I concede the aforementioned things are the absolute best). If you’ve ever wanted to dabble in role play but aren’t one for wild theatrics and attempting an awful accent, perhaps one of these ideas will suit you just fine.
We spoke to a few Johannesburg women to find out what role play works for them.
1 We recreated our first date
‘I went as far as to message my boyfriend the exact same thing he messaged me before our first date (I dove faaaar back into our Whatsapp chats). I booked us the same table at the same wine and Tapas Bar we went to, and the second he arrived I felt the same butterflies I did back then. I’m not one for accents and crazy role play, but pretending we had just met and were getting to know each other felt casual and exciting and we had the best time. When we got home, we really took our time and made out more than we have in ages. We then took our sweet, sweet time with foreplay before having mind-blowing sex.’
2 We ‘bump’ into each other
‘We’ve been together for five years, and we do this thing where we plan evenings with our friends separately. So I’ll do cocktails and dinner with my friends and he’ll see his, and towards the end of the night we’ll find each other at the same bar. We were missing that part of the relationship where you flirt and kiss and giggle and so we figured out how to recreate that in a way that took the pressure off planning a whole “thing”.’
3 We take some time off from our marriage
‘You know in Sex And The City when Big asked Carrie if they could spend two nights apart each week? Yeah, my husband and I actually do that. I missed missing him, and getting dressed up and looking forward to seeing him instead of taking him for granted. So it’s not twice every week, but once every three weeks either he or I will book into a hotel for a few nights or go stay with a friend out of town or something like that. We plan a romantic evening for the first night we spend together again, and by the time we’re in bed at the end of the evening we’ve talked and enjoyed each others company and had some damn amazing sex. It feels brand new each time. Our friends think it’s unconventional but it works for us.’
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