The Ideal Woman Interview: Rob Van Vuuren

‘You want a friend, but a friend who is great in bed.’

AGE: 35
PROFESSION: Comedian, writer, director and actor.
FIND HIM HERE: @RobVanVuuren

‘You want a friend, but a friend who is great in bed.’

What is the first thing you notice about a woman?
My wife – she kind of shone in the room, there was this presence. She’s very beautiful and she’s got a great smile. She struck me as a classic beauty.

What makes you want to go up to a woman and strike up a conversation?
I’ve always been attracted to women who have something quirky and interesting about them, not only in the way they dress, but what they’re into. I’m attracted to people who swim against the stream, people who don’t look like a FHM model. I like something that says ‘individual’.

Who is your ideal woman?
I think it’s a fantasy that doesn’t exist. If you’re looking for the ideal woman, I think you’re going to suffer. It’s about finding someone who challenges you and makes you feel passionately.

What are the traits a girl must have to meet your mother?
A great sense of humour, passion and intelligence. Someone with a strong sense of self without necessarily being opinionated. Someone with the capacity for love and acceptance.

How important is personality really?
Hugely important. When you find that person you want to spend the rest of your life with, looks fade. I think you realise this in the first year or two of marriage. Obviously physical attraction is vital to any relationship but you need to be able to communicate with that person. You can’t do that with someone who just looks good.

What is your favourite part of a woman’s body?
Everything! I love my wife’s bum, her beautiful neck. She’s got amazing breasts, wonderful legs. I like the big picture.

Do you think most men value personality over physical attributes?
No. All guys who are in a long-term relationship realise that it’s not just about the sex. We all want someone we can become really vulnerable with, but still feel like a man. You want a friend, but a friend who’s great in bed.

Is it very important that your friends like the girl you are seeing?
It certainly helps. It’s a good indicator if you are with someone who is compatible with you. If they aren’t compatible, it’s a warning sign. Very often your friendships are relationships you’ve developed over decades, so they matter.

Do you think women are too critical of their appearances?
Yes. I think it is society in general’s fault. It’s a combination of popular media and men’s expectations.

If your wife were having a fat day, what would you do to make her feel better?
Compliment her and tell her how beautiful she looks. Guys also have fat and ugly days. Reassurance is all you really want.

Should women take it personally when their boyfriend looks at other women?
No, it’s a biological thing programmed into our brains. Do all people become unattractive as soon as you get into a relationship? No. What you’ve done is chosen who you most want to be in a relationship with.

What advice would you give your teenage son on what to look for in a woman?
I think it’s all about someone who challenges you, someone you really get on with. When it comes to love, there is so little advice you can give because all of us learn the hard way. We never listen. At the end of the day it’s trial and error.

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