The Art of Flattery

It’s good to give his ego a little stroke every now and then.

Just like a woman feels good when the man in her life compliments her, the same is true for a man. Sometimes it’s not enough just to love him, it’s essential he knows you do – and compliments help keep the romance alive. Try adding a flirtatious touch to your comments, you may be pleasantly surprised at the effect it can have.

South Africa’s leading female dating coach, Tuming Lee, advises on some of the compliments you can use:

I LOVE THAT SHIRT YOU WEARING…
‘Compliments make your man feel special and singled out like he is the only man you ever compliment, that’s why it must be personalised and specific. Don’t just say, "Honey you look great today", tell him what it is about his outfit that makes him look great. Tell him it’s the shirt he is wearing, or that he is wearing your favourite suit. You must remember that men aren’t as used to receiving compliments as women are because they have been socialised to live and prosper without compliments.’

YOU HAVE THE SEXIEST VOICE…
‘Compliment him on his good looks. If he is not such a good looking man, compliment him on his body parts or the general features that make him sexy. Tell him, "You have the sexiest voice", or "I love the way you walk, you walk like you’re in control" or even "Your lips taste like honey".’

YOU’RE SO CONSIDERATE OF MY NEEDS AND VERY ACCOMMODATING OF MY CAREER ASPIRATIONS…
‘He’ll love you for this, because you’re basically telling him he is your hero. What man doesn’t want to hear that? When you compliment him, you make him want to be a better man. Psychologists and sociologists have proven many times before that if you want to improve the performance of any person (at work, at home or in a relationship) make sure you shower them with rewards, recognition and compliments.’

I SEE YOUR POINT HONEY…
‘Over and above direct compliments, you can compliment your man by supporting him and respecting his opinions. You don’t have to agree with him all the time, but show understanding and respect him. By not opposing his suggestions, you are indirectly complementing him. Your man wants to feel like you are on his side and the best way to show him you are part of his team is to be his number one fan and cheerleader.’

I WOULD LOVE TO WATCH THE RUGBY WITH YOU…
‘You can compliment your man by accepting his invitation to do something you don’t really enjoy. If he invites you over for a rugby game or a soccer match, do the unthinkable and go over to his place fully kitted out in his team’s gear. Compromise is an understated form of complement. Don’t overlook it.’

THANK YOU…
‘Finally, you can complement your man, by telling him thanking him whenever he pleases you, or simply thank him for being such a great gift to your life. Let him know how much you appreciate him. Thank him for being him. For providing assistance when you needed him. For being there for you during a crisis.’