Signs You Are Finally Over Him

Think you’re over him? Read this to make sure

When he dumped you, it felt like he was squishing your heart in his fist. But now the pain`s easing. Here`s how else to tell you`re back.

* You’ve come to the conclusion that 8 to 12 minutes of foreplay is just not good enough.

* Out with the girls, you’re shocked to finally learn that Ayanda got promoted a month ago and Jules has a new boyfriend whom she`s completely in love with. Turns out you`ve been so busy monopolising conversations with your get-him-back master plan that you missed what was going on in their lives.

* You`ve decided that being friends with your ex isn`t such a hot idea. You have enough pals already, and by the way, none of them treat you badly.

* The other day, you dropped out of cell-phone range – for, oh, two seconds – but you didn`t panic. Normally you`d be freaking out that you missed a call from him, but face it, that`s not going to happen.

* You just had an epiphany: It`s his loss, not yours.

* You finally returned your collection of soppy tear-jerker DVDs – Titanic, The Notebook, and Love Actually – to the video shop and rented some new, more empowering movies – Charlie`s Angels and Kill Bill: Volumes 1 and 2.

* Your computer at work has a meltdown and deletes all of his emails and the loving dialogue you shared. And (gasp!) you`re not under the desk in the fetal position, howling in pain and bawling your eyes out.

* Two nights ago, you actually realised that the way his eyebrows go up and down when he`s talking about something serious is just really annoying. In fact, so is the way he`s always scratching his neck. Ugh…and the constant throat-clearing.

* You`ve stopped connecting (in a `like, she totally gets where I`m at` way) with Avril Lavigne songs.

* You know that fantasy where you get back together because a bus hits you, and upon hearing the tragic news, your ex suddenly realises that he`s still madly in love with you and races to the hospital for a bedside vigil (with two blinding carats in his pocket)? Well, you haven`t had it for seven days.

* When throwing on clothes to run out to the shops for milk, you don`t blow-dry your hair (twice) and reject four outfits on the off chance that you may bump into him on the way.

* Your date kissed you last night, and your gag reflex didn`t kick in.