With any relationship, be it between lovers, siblings or pals, it’s super important to take time to address any potential issues. Sitting down together and talking through what does, and doesn’t work is just a foolproof way of keeping your relationship in check. Of course, there are always going to be aspects of any relationship that are 10/10 awesome, and some that might need a little bit of work (and that of course is totally fine and normal).
According to Ken Page, who’s a psychotherapist and expert in intimate matters, there are two questions we should be asking ourselves in order to improve our relationship. Ken wrote all about this for Your Tango, saying that while the two important questions he recommends asking might seem a bit… basic, they’re really not. And it’s their answers that could hold the key to happiness with your partner, mum, sister, whoever.
To improve your relationship, Ken says you should be having a word with yourself, and asking:
1 Which interactions in this relationship inspire me most?
2 Which interactions in this relationship hurt me the most?
The responses you give to these two big qus should make it clear to you which aspects of your relationship are spot on, all groovy and make you feel fabulous, and which… just… don’t. Once you’ve got your answers down, Ken suggests communicating your answers to the other person in the relationship. By talking through it together, you can figure out how to boost all those brilliant interactions that make you feel like Beyoncé and reduce the ones (as much as possible) that make you feel bloody awful.
Ken says, ‘For each point, ask yourself, “What does this say about what’s most important to my loved one?” Note the themes that emerge again and again. The more you understand and appreciate these precious parts of your loved one, the more they will feel loved and valued by you, and the more joy and connection will be possible in your relationship. In all relationships, there are few greater keys to closeness than having these parts of ourselves seen and honoured.’
Sounds pretty damn wise to us.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan UK
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