So, you get along with his family, like nearly everything about him and you can totally see yourself spending the rest of your life with this guy. But, even as he humours your obsession with reality TV wedding shows, the M-word has never raised its little tulle head. You don’t want to freak him out by pre-empting a discussion about commitment but, at the same time, you need to know if he’s as serious about you as you are about him. And, let’s face it (tick, tick…), you don’t have forever to wait.
‘When it comes to men and marriage, there’s good news and there’s bad news’, says couples counsellor, Paula Turnbull. ‘The good news is that his silence around the issue of commitment is not necessarily a bad sign. Men tend not to prioritise marriage in the same way women do. While little girls plan their frock and dream of their wedding day, men seldom think about it until it’s time to do the deed. But, with a little encouragement, they usually muster up enough enthusiasm to show up in a penguin suit and fork out for the flowers.’
The bad news is if he hasn’t mentioned marriage because he’s not ready. There is nothing you can do to hurry him up. Men have their own ‘biological clocks’, and if his isn’t ticking to the beat of the bridal march, you could be in for a long wait. Remember the SATC episode where they compared a man ready for marriage to an empty taxi? When he’s ready for commitment, his ‘available’ light goes on and the next woman he meets gets the rock. If not, he’ll just keep stalling. Luckily, there are some clear signs to watch out for if he’s ready to mate for life.
|Acts Like a Husband||Does he prefer to go to friends for dinner than hang out in pool bars? You might be in luck, says John Malloy, author of Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others (Little, Brown & Company). Men who are ready to commit begin to feel uncomfortable in bars and clubs, and prefer quieter, more low-key socialising, explains Malloy.
If, on the other hand, he’s still loving his tequila shots, staying out all night and refers to married men as ‘losers’, he probably still has a few wild oats to sow before settling down to dinner under the duvet.
|Can Support a Family|
|Shuns The Singles Scene|
|Wants To Be a Daddy|
Need to hire a venue? Click here.