The holiday season should be party time for you and your man – but it can easily turn into parting time.
Parties and picnics, cocktails and Kodak moments, late nights and lazy lie-ins… clearly this is a time of the year made for having fun with your man. But it’s also a time of year that puts extra strain on couples.
Heres how to holiday-proof your relationship:
Holiday Hazard 1
Too Much Time Together:
Now that you’ve got him 24/7, you’re noticing things about him that drive you wild – with irritation. It makes you wonder whether you’r really compatible. Differences are often disguised by the distractions of our job and social life. On holiday it’s harder to head off and do something you like and he doesn’t, and vice versa. Remember though, just because you’re on holiday together doesn’t mean you have to do every single thing together.
Holiday Hazard 2
You Miss Your Ex
This time last year you were hanging fabulously kitsch Christmas decorations up in the flat you and your boyfriend shared for three years. You were comfortable with each other – a bit too comfortable, in fact. Now, as your new guy presents you with an outrageously expensive bottle of perfume that you wouldn’t have chosen, yo remember the lime green Art Deco coffee pot your ex gave you last Christmas morning – and realise how much more he knew about your tastes. Maybe you shouldn’t have broken up with him… However, consider the positive aspects of your new man and give him an opportunity to show his own strengths.
Holiday Hazard 3
It’s Time To Meet His Family
Meeting your partner’s family for the first time is an emotionally changed event, more so when it’s at a festive occasion – where people often have conflicting expectations. Before being introduced to his parents, try to prepare yourself. Have chats about what he is like with his family , possibly in a joking way. Look at family photographs and encourage him to share aspects of his childhood with you. Most importantly, keep your expectations realistic. Seeing him in his ‘natural environment’ can help you understand him better. Finally, instead of lashing out defensively or critically if his family has a different approach to life from yours, try to accept those differences.
Holiday Hazard 4
You See His Drunk Disorderly Side
This is the time of year for beers around the braai and parties around the pool. All good and well until things go pear shaped. Don’t overreact the first time you see him drunk and assume he has a drinking problem. After all, it’s normal to let your hair down this time of the year. But if you notice that he simply can’t handle social celebrations without a glass in his hand or he seems to undergo a personality change when he’s had a few, talk to him – maybe theres a reason. However, if he becomes reckless or abusive, making you feel embarrassed or unhappy, you don’t have to do any understanding.