There’s an infographic doing the rounds on Twitter this morning that speaks about rape and child rape in South Africa. It’s an accumulation of numerous studies where abusers and those abused were interviewed. Every point made me ill to my stomach – but one made me shake with anger. More than two-thirds – 69,3% – of South African men who admit to raping say they did it because of sexual entitlement. In other words, they believe sex is owed to them.
Excuse my crass, simplistic reply but … fuck that. Fuck that on so many levels. I hope Meghan Trainor will allow me a moment to adapt the message in her hit single Dear Future Husband.
Dear Future Husband…
You are not entitled to take sex from me. Ever.
You are not entitled to expect me to act out sexual fantasies that make me uncomfortable.
You are not entitled to emotionally blackmail me because you believe I am withholding sex.
You are not entitled to forget about my choices in this relationship.
You are not entitled to touch me without love.
Your agression is not invited or wanted in this relationship.
I do not belong to you.
I am entitled to live my life without fear of you.
I am your equal.
I am deserving of your love and respect.
Actually, Dear Future Husband, after reading that infographic today, it’s likely I will choose to never have a future husband.
And that’s just fine.