Some simple tips to make your partnership instantly stronger.
Pick your fights
It’s a real cliché, but being selective about what you engage in conflict over makes a huge difference to the harmony of your partnership. Unless it’s constructive, arguing and bickering can have a very corrosive effect on your relationship, so while it is so irritating when he leaves his gym clothes on the bathroom floor, ask yourself whether the bad energy is going to be worth taking it up with him. There are always going to be things he does that bug you, so try to take issue only with the biggies.
Room to move
So, now that you’ve found your soul-mate you only need him and nobody else? Wrong. Being together 24/7 and becoming each other’s everything is the quickest way to kill the love. While it might feel comfortable spending all your time together, not having anything to inject new energy and life into the relationship – friends, sport, a hobby you love – and it will become staler than last week’s government loaf. Resist the urge to sink into complacency – just because you’re in love doesn’t mean you should stop being an interesting, independent individual with your own life, thoughts and ideas.
Forgive and forget
Okay, it’s not fabulous that he and his boys ended up at a strip joint and he came home at 4am and passed out on the couch. But he’s young and he’s a guy and they do stupid things (don’t we all?). If, for the most part, he’s kind and thoughtful and devoted, be ready to overlook these moments of bad judgement. Accept his apology, and don’t give him a never-ending lecture about it.
Keep your Inner psycho in check
Most of us have a moment when we go a little bit nuts. That’s okay, as long as it’s just a moment. As much as you might feel tempted to check his e-mail/DMs/phone messages/drive to his buddy’s house to make sure he’s really there, don’t do it. He’ll find out, and it’ll end badly. Feeling jealous for no reason? Go talk to someone sensible who can help you see things in perspective. Psycho isn’t sexy. Don’t lose a good thing over your lack of impulse control.
This should be obvious, but somehow we often start treating the people we’re closest to the worst. Know he’s had a crap day? Hand him a cold beer when he walks through the door and tell him to tell you all about it (and don’t interrupt). He’s tired and hungry? Fix him a bowl of spag bol the size of his head with extra extra cheese. These small, thoughtful acts of kindness will do very good warm-and-fuzzy things to your union. And respecting him as an individual and being patient when he’s a moegoe count as acts of kindness. And it makes you the sweetest GF ever.