11 Conversations Twentysomething Women Have While Pregaming

1. Someone put on my “Bomb Ass ’90s Jams” playlist. Not sure why anyone would play anything other than a playlist that begins with “No Scrubs” and ends with “…Baby One More Time” when there’s any kind of alcohol involved, but there’s always a “Nooo, let’s listen to chill music while we get ready” buzzkill. “Amanda, no, everyone here is trying to have a good time and, like, be nostalgic. Back away from the iPhone.”

2. Can I just wear Converse with this instead? I know I specifically bought these heels for this party but now that I walked all the way up here, I’m realising they’re kind of terrible and I’m wondering if it just make sense to wear flats instead? Seriously, how am I even going to dance in these heels? Fuck it, I’m wearing Converse.

3. Is this skirt hot-short or ass-hanging-out short? Girl! Does it even matter? You look great. Ignore Amanda, she’s just mad we don’t want to listen to Mumford & Sons while we drink.

4. We should totally play Cards Against Humanity, if Amanda promises not to get offended. Why she was so upset by “I got 99 problems, but demonic possession ain’t one” last time (“Wait, guys, do you think Amanda is possessed by demons, hahahaha, I love wine!”) is a total mystery, but a pregame isn’t a pregame if you didn’t offend someone with Cards Against Humanity anyway.

5. Do you think Brandon’s going to be at the party tonight? I want to make out with him. Actually, I just want to make out with anyone tonight. Brandon is cute and I feel like there’s been a lot of sexual tension with him, but really there’s just been a lot of sexual tension in my life in general and making out sounds better than late-night nachos right now.

6. What about Becky? I’m avoiding her completely. No, really guys, I am really upset with Becky from when she stole the DJ booth from me at the last house party. No, I’m not just saying that because I’m drunk. I need you to make a pact with me on this vodka soda that if we see Becky out, you’re not going to condone her DJ booth-stealing behaviour.

7. Is that beer-before-liquor thing real or did my mom just make it up? Sure, you vomited that one time in first year when you chugged three beers and then had four mixed drinks, but you were so young then. You’re Grown now. If you want to have (just one glass of) wine and (just one) liquor-based thing, you’ll be fine, right? (Right.)

8. I’ve never had to pee so badly in my life but I don’t want to break the seal. Just because Amanda is confident in your ability to hold your pee for one more drink and an Uber crosstown doesn’t mean you should be. Pee. Go now. Do it.

9. If I order pizza right now, will you eat it with me? Answer: Yes. Friends don’t let friends order pizza (and mozzarella sticks) (and probably garlic bread for good measure) to a pregame and stand idly by while they attempt to eat it all themselves. And you’re not pregaming with bad friends, are you?

10. Pregames are the besttttt parttttt of the night. And, guys, you are my best friends in the entire world. Like, when we are Old and Boring, these are going to be the nights we remember, right? The ones where just the five of us sat on the floor and played wine-fuelled Dream Girls karaoke? Ugh, we are making fucking memories and I just love you guys so much. *Cries.*

11. Wait, though. What if we didn’t even go out tonight? “Ohmygod, best idea ever,” —everyone in attendance.

This article was originally published on Cosmopolitan.com.