Christmas isn’t necessarily all laughs and booze for everyone, and a lot of relationships seem to end around the festive season. So if you’ve been broken up with over Christmas, please know it’s natural not to feel totally festive. But there is hope and joy to be had regardless.
Dating and relationship expert Johnny Cassell shares his advice for dealing with your relationship ending over Christmas – even when the last thing you want to do is celebrate…
1 Hang out with your besties
Surround yourself with supportive, trustworthy and good friends, and remind yourself why you’re a fabulous human being – BC you are.
As the relationship expert puts it: ‘You will find it hard to get out of your state of mind on your own accord. Even when the invites aren’t flooding in and you have to structure it yourself, push anything that drives you to be more sociable.’
2 Don’t revisit things
‘If you have bought presents for them, don’t feel bad about taking them back. When a relationship ends, one person will be more connected than the other so freeze them out even if you decide to later re-bond and be friends.’
3 Be around positive people
‘People who project a positive state are contagious. When there are so many Christmas parties it can be easy to say you can’t be bothered to attend them, but the best thing you can do is get out.’
4 Put yourself back out there
It’s important to remind yourself that other potential partners do exist besides your ex, so if you feel ready, put yourself out there and give other romances a try, Cassell says.
5 Delete them on social media if you feel the need
If you’re struggling to cope with seeing their festivities or find yourself checking their Facebook a million times on Christmas day, it’s okay to delete them on social media. Don’t feel like you have to unfriend any mutual friends, though, because as Cassell explains, ‘It isn’t about choosing sides: Facebook doesn’t hold any weight in a friendship.’
6 Do anything that makes you feel good
‘Go to a spa or out with your friends and then when you are on your own, go and get your hair done or read a book. By doing anything positive, it will instantly uplift your mood.’
7 Speak up
‘Pouring your heart out to your friend can help. If you harbour thoughts and feelings, it’s unhealthy. Remember it’s healthy to offload.’
8 Fake it
Even if you’re struggling, sometimes the best way to get over something is to fake being over it until you actually are.
‘If you see your ex in public, address the elephant in the room. The sooner you put it out there, the better – otherwise it will linger. Put on your PR face and biggest smile. I always say, leave people better than when you found them.’
9 Manage your state of mind
‘”Choose” is a powerful word. There are external factors that can change your mood such as being around friends and going out. It is just up to you to surround yourself with these things.’
10 Don’t harbour negative relationships
‘Make sure you don’t wallow and don’t listen to music that will remind you of your ex or the times you had together. Instead, always remind yourself why you are great.’
This article was originally appeared in Cosmopolitan.co.uk
