Zhuzhing up your sex life with a new toy or position is one thing, but incorporating actual games can sometimes feel weirdly daunting? Especially because the word “game” can elicit images of a massive rule book to memorize, which can feel like A Lot when you’re trying to bone after two wines and just want something easy and fun. Luckily, sex games don’t have to be complicated! If anything, the very best ones are almost more like little tweaks in your bedroom play that make you feel way more connected (and yes, horny.) So if you’re on the hunt for some new ideas, one of these 30 might just do the trick!
Adult Truth or Dare
Rachel Wright, a licensed psychotherapist, sex therapist, and sex educator, suggests trying a NSFW version of Truth or Dare. For Truths, opt for ones that are related to helping you understand your partner better on a sexual level, like “Tell me a sexual fantasy you have” or “What’s the hottest sex scene you’ve ever watched?” As for Dares, they should be easy to do but, you know, a little bit out of your comfort zone! (Example: “I dare you to give me your best striptease right now.”)
But before you do anything, make sure to talk about consent and a safe word to stop any dares that feel a little TOO out of what’s okay for you. Once you do that, this classic sleepover game is about to make your adult one SO much more fun.
Stop and Start
When you have all the time in the world and zero constraints, sometimes that can make trying new things feel that much more intimidating, ironically. So add some boundaries re: time. “Set a timer on one of your cell phones for a time under four minutes. Do your sexual activity (anything from kissing to intercourse) until the timer goes off,” Wright explains. Then swap places and have your partner do the same. Again, this game is all about trust and consent, and if you feel safe with the other person, this can really foster some more intimacy, says Wright.
Flirt Through Foreplay
These are less outwardly sexual, but the questions in Talk, Flirt, Dare are all about playfully getting to know each other better, and the reviews swear by it. Sometimes, the best way to get it on is to make the actual date focused on connecting and just straight-up having a lot of fun together.
Try an Advent Calendar
Who says you need to wait until the holidays? You can find advent cals for sex toys, lingerie, etc, and have something new to try every damn DAY (or not–pace it however you see fit!). This is especially great if you can’t decide between two vibrators or sheer bras. Why not both? Why not 12?
Dabble in Beginner Bondage
Interested in playing with a blindfold or handcuffs but have no idea where to start? There are kits just for that!
Take turns exploring each other’s bodies with ice. Keep in mind that you should be very gentle with ice (don’t, like, hammer an ice cube into their skin, obvi) and keep your movements light and teasing, suggests Wright. Wait until the ice has sufficiently melted down a bit and your partner is used to the cold sensation before heading down to their genitals. This not only amps up their desire, it also ensures they won’t be getting freezer burn anywhere sensitive.
Choose Your Pleasure Card Game
The Choose Your Pleasure card game is a full deck of 52 cards with sexy scenarios on each. The deck is split up for “his” and “her” challenges, and comes with dice so you can randomize prompts (like using a vibrator before or during sex, or blindfolding or tying up your boo during foreplay).
Try a Sexy Board Game
The Tease Board Game is suitable for 2 to 6 players and is a legit board game meant to highlight sexy fantasies for you and your partners. It’s great for swinging couples, but it also works if it’s just you and your S.O. And who knows? Maybe just imagining the idea of swinging with other couples could do it for you…
Naked Getting to Know You
Kim Leatherdale, a couples coach and counselor, suggests many of her clients try playing “Naked Getting to Know You.” The purpose is simple: You just hover your hands lightly all over your partner’s body without actually touching them. Your mate should be able to feel your body heat through your hands without either of you actually making physical contact. Keep score: Whoever makes a mistake and actually touches the other person is charged a kiss per point, Leatherdale says.
Monkey See, Porn Star Do
Okay, stay with me here! Pick some feminist porn that makes you feel empowered and horny, grab your partner, and queue it the eff up. As you’re watching, you and your partner can pick one sex thing that looked hot that you are down to try. Then, give it a go. Maybe you’ll find your new go-to position or maybe you’ll discover you’re just not flexible enough to make it work. You won’t know unless you try (but use a safe word at any time to stop the action ASAP if you’re not into it).
Tear It Up
Your clothes, of course. Ever wanted to have bodice-ripping sex, but love all your clothes too much? Buy some super-duper cheap tank tops and tell your partner they are free—and encouraged—to destroy them. Bonus points if they tear them off your body with their teeth. You were never gonna wear it again anyway.
The rules are simple: No one orgasms until you’ve boned in every room of the house.
Like regular Scrabble, except you can ONLY spell out dirty words. (None of that “qi” bullshit.) Every time your partner gets a point, you have to remove an item of clothing. And vice versa, because fair is fair.
Toy Time Tease
Find a sex toy store that feels positive and comfortable. Then, plan a visit a week or two before a special occasion, like a birthday or anniversary. Peruse the aisles together and pick one item that the two of you can’t wait to try. Maybe it’s a vibrator for you, a toy for him, or something a little more out there. Bring it home and make a rule that you won’t use it until that special occasion. Now, enjoy the wait. Think about how good it will feel, add it into your dirty talk—whatever gets you pumped. It’ll feel like Christmas morning for everyone when you finally get to unwrap your gift.
The Position Challenge
See how many different sex positions you can fit into a single sex sesh before you finish. (This is a great way to make sex last longer in general, btw.) Each time you set a new record, see if you can top it. You might just discover you new favorite move.
Stretch your idea of what you consider sex. Try getting busy without any kind of penetration. Concentrate on how kissing feels on different parts of your body, think about all the ways you can touch each other that don’t involve vaginal intercourse, and get out of that “penis + vagina = sex” headspace that prevents people from exploring other sexy alternatives.
Raunchy Retail Therapy
Visit a sex shop or lingerie store together, and tell your partner they can pick one thing they want to see you wear, no questions asked. Give them an allowance to spend so they stay in your budget (and because you are a grown-ass woman who #TreatsHerself). Don’t let them show you what they bought until you get home from the shopping trip. Enjoy watching their jaw drop as they see you walk out in their fantasy getup.
XXX Marks the Spot
This is like a “guess that number,” but with a spot on your body. Keep one particular body part in mind, then have your boo kiss every part of you from head to toe until they guess the spot correctly. Of course, it’s up to you if you want to be honest and tell them he hit the right spot, or let them keep guessing..
Do as I Say
Make yourself a DIY dungeon master by whipping out a feather duster to use as a teaser and a silk tie to use as arm restraints. Secure your partner in place, then tickle them all over until they can’t take it anymore. BONUS: for the entirety of your “session,” you can only use Christian’s and Ana’s quotes from Fifty Shades of Grey.
Set up your dining room table like a beer-pong table, but skip the brew: Arrange six 16-ounce plastic cups in a triangle shape at either end of the table, and grab some Ping-Pong balls. You’ll stand at one end of the table, with your guy at the other. Take turns trying to throw a Ping-Pong ball into the cups at the opposite end of the table. When one of you makes it in, the other has to remove that cup…and a piece of clothing. The first person to land a ball in all six cups gets to request a sexual favor of their choice.
Pick a Card, Any Card
Start with a deck of cards and assign each suit a different sexy meaning: Hearts represent kissing, diamonds equal a massage, clubs are manual stimulation, and spades signify oral. Take turns picking cards from the stack and treating each other to the sexy move you draw. The numbers on the cards represent how long you have to do each action—so if you get the nine of diamonds, he has to give you a sensual rubdown for nine seconds. If he picks the ace of clubs, you give him a one-second hand job (boo, but hey, that’s the way the cards were dealt).
Not So Fast
Lie naked in bed and have your S.O. stand at the doorway to the bedroom. Test how well they know you by asking them questions about yourself—which can range from sexy (“What’s your favorite position?”) to personal (“Name your dream vacation spot”). For each correct answer, they get to move one step closer to you; for each wrong one, they must take a step back. Once your mate correctly answers enough questions to reach the bed, go at it. The teasing aspect will drive up your lust, and they’ll also learn new things about you.
Seven Minutes in Heaven
Seven Minutes in Heaven is a step up from Spin the Bottle. But now that you’re not in braces in your parent’s basement, why not make it even dirtier? Set the kitchen timer for seven minutes and then hop in the coat closet together for a torrid quickie. The timer creates a sense of urgency, and the small, dark space makes it feel like you’re doing something forbidden—so hot.
You know how you and your boo watch a show together and you really want your favorite characters to have sex? Make it happen in your bed! Doing this bit of specific role-playing—involving the characters you can’t wait to just bone already—and then actually boning? Perfection.
The classic pool game is about to get hot as hell. The next time you’re by yourselves in the water, close your eyes, then head in the direction of your partner by following the sound of their voice. Once you catch them, pull your bathing suit bottom aside and go at it.
Dare or Dare
Play a game of Truth or Dare, with very little truth involved. Dares can include things like:
“Talk dirty to me for 20 minutes. Kiss me without using your hands to touch any other body parts (though bae will want to). Sext me while you’re at work at least once an hour…”
It’s up to you if you want to keep daring your partner or let them take a turn at daring
Lie side-by-side naked in bed and begin pleasuring yourselves. Whoever orgasms first gives the other person manual or oral stimulation until they reach the finish line too. The “winner” gets to request a sexy treat next time. (Relationship bonus: Masturbating in front of each other can draw you closer. It’s normally something you do when you’re alone, so allowing another person to watch you makes you feel vulnerable, which heightens the intimacy between you.)
This Is So Wrong
Don’t risk full-on public sex, but do test the limits of how kinky you can get outside of your house. Try low-key things like:
- Hooking up in your friend’s bathroom at a house party.
- Hook up with the door open while your roommate is home.
- Put your hand on his crotch while you’re in a crowded elevator just to give him an idea of what you want to do later.
The Mirror Game
Both of you strip down and sit facing each other on the bed. One of you begins to touch, kiss, and lick different areas of the other’s body, and the other person has to simultaneously touch, kiss, and lick that same part in exactly the same way. This is also a great way to show your partner how you like to be touched, and honestly? It’s hot as hell.
Blindfold your S.O. naked on the bed, and then tease them all over using a series of sexy objects—caress their downstairs parts with a silky thong or a simple feather. Have them try to guess what you’re stroking them with, and don’t move on to the next object until they get it right.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan USA
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