While foot fetishism, or podophilia, is not uncommon, it’s still considered ‘out there’ — in part because people most often hear about foot fetishes in the news as a factor in behaviour that’s actually creepy, like videotaping people’s feet. But this sexual fixation, thought by some to be the result of crosstalk between the regions of the brain that correspond with genitalia and with feet, is a source of excitement for many people and their partners. Three anonymous women opened up to Cosmopolitan.com about what it’s like to be in a relationship with a foot fetishist.
How old are you?
Woman A: Twenty-three.
Woman B: Twenty-seven.
Woman C: Twenty-seven.
What’s your sexual orientation?
Woman A: I’m attracted to both genders.
Woman B: I’m straight.
Woman C: I’m attracted to males.
How did you find out about your partner’s foot fetish?
Woman A: I was a teenager and already knew about the fetish, because he was my best friend prior to dating. We just made out and I told him he could play with my feet if he wanted to. I’d asked him a few months beforehand if he had any fetishes. I was flattered that he told me, when nobody else knew. It was also his first time acting on his foot fetish So he was too shy to do anything other than hold one of my feet while kissing me … We’re still together.
Woman B: I’ve been a pro domme for seven years. So I do and have done a lot of paid foot play that did not include sex. I was very familiar with foot fetishists long before I ever hooked up with one for fun … I have a long-term casual sex partner now who loves feet more than anything. He’s kinky and so am I. He told me about it on our first date when we were comparing kinks.
Woman C: I was with my current boyfriend for about three years before I knew he had a foot fetish. We’ve been together for nearly six years now, and the rest of our relationship is completely regular. We have kids, jobs, a house, regular stuff. I’m willing to give anything a whirl in bed to see if it will excite him. [A few years into our relationship,] I started to put my feet in his face and he really, really liked kissing, licking, and sucking on them. After a month or so of noticing that my feet were always involved when we had sex, I asked him why that was. We ended up having a very long and very deep conversation over the phone about how he has always had a foot fetish.
I was completely taken by surprise, because I thought I knew everything about him by that point. It turns out that the society we live in and how people react to foot fetishists had caused him to feel an incredibly deep shame. So deep that he wasn’t willing to reveal it to his long-term girlfriend. He believed anyone would mock him for it … He says that it’s almost all of his sexuality — for example, some people are attracted to blondes, boobs, butts, or some mixture of turn-ons, but for him it’s feet, feet, feet.
What was your reaction?
Woman A: Feet don’t turn me on at all, but I think it’s brilliant. I love the fact that something so innocuous can turn him on so easily … Also, it’s nice to know that even if I put on a lot of weight there’d still be at least one part of my body he’d still find attractive.
Woman B: I love foot play a lot. To the point where a man becomes more attractive to me if I know he has a foot fetish.
Woman C: Overall my reaction was disbelief that someone could keep something they like hidden. Or feel like they should keep it hidden. I was also really excited that I was able to make our sex life even better. He regretted not telling me sooner because he could have been having years of great sex with me.
What foot-related acts does your sex life include?
Woman A: Mainly him just smelling them and licking them. If I’m ever not in the mood for sex, I can just tell him to ejaculate on my feet instead and then we’re both happy. I’ll talk about my feet being hot or sweaty to turn him on (obviously not in front of other people). I’ve even kept hold of a pair of shoes that make my feet smell because I know he likes them.
Woman B: Generally, foot fetishists want to kiss, lick, and suck on feet. Sometimes they prefer the feet to be kind of sweaty … Usually when my partner comes over, I have him give me a foot massage while we chitchat before the sex. He’s submissive to me, so sometimes I shove them pretty far down his throat or or order him to kiss him. I usually make him jerk off on them at the end and lick it up, or I use my feet to rub the cum all over his face.
Woman C: He is into anything I can think of that involves my feet. He doesn’t like my feet dirty or smelly, and I wouldn’t like him to hurt my feet or be hurt by them, so we don’t do that. A foot massage can involve a happy ending for him if I’m not interested in getting off myself, and it can turn into a full-body massage with a happy ending for both of us if I do want it.
Sometimes I get cheeky and arouse him in public, which I feel slightly bad for, but it always means getting some really insistent and hot sex later on in private. And sometimes we just have regular vanilla or not-so-vanilla sex not involving my feet. Positions where my feet are in his face are the best, because I get off on getting him off. I also sometimes lick and suck my own feet and he watches, which gets him off really quickly, which is good for me because I’m only that flexible for so long.
Do you give foot jobs? If so, what’s that like?
Woman A: I have a couple of times. You need to be in a really awkward position and it makes my bum and thighs cramp a bit. If you’re flexible enough, a good alternative is a hand job but with your toes rubbing the head of the penis or foot pressed against the base. It’s got the same psychological and aesthetic benefits but is a lot easier to do.
Woman B: I think I gave my partner a foot job to completion exactly once … I just shoved my feet together and made him do most of the work.
Woman C: Foot jobs are always a winner, but they are pretty difficult because it involves moving almost all of your legs to get the right movements going and then you have to maintain it and then get faster. Tiring stuff. Also looks really stupid from my perspective. But it works.
Do you pay more attention to how your feet look because of your partner’s fetish?
Woman A: Not really. I’ve always taken good care of my feet and I’ve always thought I had very nice feet. It makes me slightly more determined not to let them build up hard skin when I’m older, but I would prefer that didn’t happen whether or not I was dating someone with a foot fetish. I don’t bother with pedicures at all.
Woman B: Despite making lots of money off my feet and having a regular foot fetish hook-up, I don’t actually take the greatest care of my feet. I try to keep them painted, but honestly I’m behind on that right now and I haven’t had a real pedicure in close to a year. I should probably get on that. Those Babyfoot [exfoliator] things are cool though. Last time I did one, I fed the dead skin to, like, three different clients.
Woman C: I don’t get pedicures or take much more care of my feet than ever. I’m pretty lazy about it: I’m clean but not excessive. I exfoliate and moisturise everywhere, including my feet. Sometimes I even just apply more nail polish on top when [my pedicure] starts to chip … It’s always black, it’s a nice contrast with my pale skin. Sometimes I make a point of painting them in front of him — he likes that. He understands that women shouldn’t have to work their butts off to meet modern standards for beauty and that keeping up with two small children leaves little time for excessive grooming. I’m not concerned about what I look like in any way. I prefer to go barefoot in the house and wear flip-flops the rest of the time, and that’s always been the case, so when it’s socks-and-boots weather it makes him pout.
What else do you want to share about foot fetishes?
Woman A: I don’t get people who are grossed out by them. It’s no weirder than liking breasts or butts — their primary purpose is also not sexual gratification. According to people on the internet, everyone with a foot fetish is a pervert who wants to involve you in their fetish without your consent and is easy to spot. Of course, in reality, there’s probably plenty of men who nobody knows likes feet because they behave perfectly normally around women. People only notice the weird ones and then assume they’re all like that. It’s like assuming all vegans are preachy.
Woman B: I will say that I do find the possibility of a biological basis for foot fetishes extremely plausible. I always ask my clients how they became interested in BDSM, and the foot fetishists always say that it started with feet, and that they’ve been interested in feet for as long as they can remember.
Woman C: I knew that a fetish was a permanent part of a person’s sexuality [before I learned about my partner’s fetish], and that it can spill out of the bedroom too. I’d never encountered anyone with a fetish before, but I doubt I’d have judged them. I’d always think less of someone that litters than someone who [has a fetish].
I’m really accepting and he takes me as I am too. His fetish isn’t harming anyone and I believe no one should be ashamed of it. I’m glad he’s not vanilla — that would mean the rest of our life together would be pretty boring.
This article was originally published on Cosmopolitan.com