1. You’re always making lists. You have lists for everything: today, tomorrow, this week, this month, shopping, errands, and the list (literally) goes on! As Cosmpolitan.com Deputy News Editor and Very Organised Person Alex Rees recently told me, ‘the #1 item on my to-do list is always “make a new to-do list.”‘ If you can relate to that so hard, you might be the organised one in your relationship.
2. When you ask your partner to do something, you know you’re gonna have to actually do it yourself. Unless you ask like 15 times and get in at least two fights about it. This doesn’t mean your significant other is a bad person, it just means he’s not the best at following through on things because he once got kicked in the head by a butterfly and now his brain is made of unicorn kisses and puppy’s dreams. (I don’t know what I’m saying other than: Certain people are better at certain things in relationships, and that’s fair. Ish.)
3. You (think) you are brains of the operation. Your partner might be sweet, kind, smart, funny, and, above all, *very chill*, but you are the one who makes shit happen.
4. You are somehow responsible for everything in your joint life together just because you’re organised. For instance, if you’re invited to a party, the host always just sends the Evite to you because she knows you’ll respond.
5. Sometimes you’re so hyped on organisation, you need a fucking drink to relax. After an entire day of pricing flights, planning your BFF’s bridal shower, and creating the perfect grocery list, you need several cocktails to take the edge off.
6. You do all the shopping. That’s because one time your partner offered to go to the store and then proceeded to bring home five kinds of frozen pizzas instead of anything on your carefully curated grocery list, including toothpaste and so you had to brush your teeth with baking soda.
7. Your closet is on point. Colour-coordinated with everything draped on velvet hangers. His closet? It looks like the Tasmanian Devil on holiday. (So, like, even more disorganised than the regular Tasmanian Devil.)
8. You’re in charge of buying gifts for everyone in the family. Your family, her family, your friends, her friends. Doesn’t matter. If there’s a birthday or a Bat Mitzvah coming up, you’re the one on Superbalist searching for the perfect present for his ungrateful nephew who absolutely adores her but once told you he liked your girlfriend’s ex *way* more than you. Is it possible to hate-buy gifts for a 13-year-old? (Yes. Yes, it is.)
9. You keep track of the maintenance on your apartment or house. If the toilet is clogged, you’re calling the landlord or else you’re living with a toilet that will eventually flood your apartment and drown you both. Your bed is sagging? You’re gonna have back problems forever unless you order a new mattress.
10. You make all the plans. If your partner was the one responsible for making sure you saw your friends, you’d be old and gray with an army of field mice living in your ten-foot-long hair before you saw your besties ever again.
11. You organise all the trips. You RSVP for the weddings, you buy the plane tickets, you find the best Airbnb that’s equidistance from the reception venue and this really cute retro airplane-themed bar you read about and have to try.
12. You menu plan. If you didn’t, you’d live entirely off of leftovers until you die because your arteries are constructed 100-percent from rice noodles and your blood is entirely comprised of soy sauce.
13. You do the laundry. Your partner cannot be trusted to not mix every colour of the clothing rainbow and then wash it all on extra hot. Or maybe he can, but honestly, it’s just better if you do it.
14. People know to call you because you always call or text back immediately. You know where your phone is and it’s fully charged, which is more than you can say for *some* people.
15. You secretly kinda love being organised because that means you’re in charge. This is not the case all the time, but you’d often rather be the one to plan the trip because then you can stay at that charming, rustic B&B you found while reading some listicle about the most charming, rustic B&Bs in the world. As they say, if you want things done charming, rustic B&B right, you gotta do it yourself.
16. You have one not-so-organized area of your life that’s your secret shame. Whether it’s keeping your clothes exclusively in piles (hey! you understand what’s going on!) or a bathroom cabinet that looks like it was organized by Animal from The Muppets, there’s a ~dark secret~ lurking beneath your perfect facade.
17. You can become filled with resentment and/or become a martyr if you don’t watch yourself. It’s one thing if you LOVE to be the organised one who takes care of everything, and it’s quite another if you silently take it all on while fuming with anger at your partner. If you’re overwhelmed, you gotta ask for help, and help will probably involve you calming it down and your significant other stepping it up. It’s win/win! (Until you’re planning your next vacation, and then you should probably be the one in charge.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com