‘You’d know’. Two words often uttered by women who have achieved an orgasm, when speaking to those of us who haven’t. ‘If it had happened, you’d know’. As someone who has only ever had one orgasm (yes, that includes even when masturbating), I know there is truth to that. I know, because of my one grand O, that indeed you do just know. But what about my friends who’ve never even had that one lonesome, glistening orgasm? How do they know? We asked 10 women what an orgasm feels like to them.
Pop culture would have us believe the female orgasm looks like a banshee wailing in the throes of passion. That it looks like a perfectly curved back hoisted to the heavens by an angel holding puppet strings. It looks like curled toes (okay this one is pretty accurate). It looks like three thrusts against a wall and two people erupting in mutual ecstasy.
It does not look like devoting entire Sundays to masturbating in an effort to learn what works for you. It doesn’t look like doing Kegels on the drive to work because we’re trying to strengthen our pelvic floor muscles (all hail Betty Dodson). It feels hard. It feels like hard fucking work. And at the end of a long day, after all this hard work in which you’ve chased this elusive thing, the last thing you want to hear is, ‘I can’t explain it – you’d just know’.
So we took to Reddit to find honest descriptions of what orgasm feels like to ten normal women.
So, what does an orgasm feel like to them?
1 Very intense butterflies
‘For me, an orgasm feels like very intense butterflies, except focused on one small part of me, at my very centre. It comes in steady one-second waves, and tends to travel upwards through my body the longer it lasts, and tapers off after about a minute. If the sensation of butterflies came with a deep, painless throbbing sensation and climbed up through your body…that’s how I would describe it.’ [Via]
2 The most intense sensation
‘Like the most intense sensation you could imagine, building up throughout your body and being almost unbearable until your body starts cramping and you get this explosion that starts in the clitoris and spreads through the body. Like “this is the best sensation I’ve ever felt and it’s so good but oh my god I don’t know if I can handle anything feeling this fucking good.”‘ [Via]
3 Static electricity
‘Pulsating waves and a kind of a tightened feeling. Then your whole body feels kinda like static electricity.’ [Via]
4 Complete blissful relief
‘Kind of like when you have an itch you almost can’t reach and you start scratching and it feels good and the closet you get to the core of the itch the better it feels until you have complete blissful relief. Times a million. Physically, there is a pressure and then pulsing inside and your whole body is full of firecrackers. Pure joy. Apparently, I tend to giggle once that place has been reached and my bf says it’s adorably sexy. Delusional but what can ya do?’ [Via]
5 Punched in the gut
‘Being zapped by a taser and punched in the gut at the same time, but you like it.’ [Via]
6 You feel momentarily out of control
‘Clitoral- kind of like holding your breath and beginning to pass out. Your body clenches up, you feel momentarily out of control, and then you take that glorious staggering breath of relief.
Vaginal- intense, powerful, and fulfilling. During vaginal stimulation, for me, it feels like there’s an aching void that needs to be filled. Every stroke adds to the desire, and I start to feel ripples of sensation quake through me until finally, a thunderous applause erupts from within. It’s glorious.’ [Via]
7 Your brain feels like it’s coated in syrup
‘Do you know the sensation of falling? It’s like that, but in all the directions at the same time and your brain feels like it’s coated in syrup. Also, my vision got dark a few times for some reason and I can drool without noticing or get spasms in my right leg.’ [Via]
8 It’s like catching a wave
‘It’s like surfing. You first do all the hard work, get everything in the right place, in motion, and then once all the work is done, you catch a wave, and it’s a smooth ride from there.’ [Via]
9 Or a sneeze
‘I tend to think of orgasms like sneezes. Sometimes it’s an explosive yelling mess with fluid shooting out, sometimes it’s a series of small shocks in a row. Sometimes it builds and builds and builds…to a weird snorty twinge that leaves you thinking “that was it?”.
There are different kinds, and while some orgasms are in the “stars” or “bursts” range, not all are. For what its worth, the best kind seem to come from paying more attention to the journey than the destination.’ [Via]
10 It’s like light shining through
‘It’s like a little bundle of pleasure that grows bigger and bigger, and then it just clicks and a door opens and light shines through and then you spasm for a bit riding it out (at least, I do).’ [Via]
So there you have it, cuties. There is no one-size-fits-all, and there is no wrong way to experience orgasm. So note to self, and to you, perhaps we should try to stop overthinking the orgasm and just enjoy the journey?
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