The moment I heard about Gwyneth Paltrow’s new Netflix docuseries, The Goop Lab, I knew I had to watch it. Over the years, I’ve had my fair share of opinions about the lifestyle site, and I just haven’t been able to make up my mind about it.
Do I think the yoni egg is maybe the most ridiculous thing on this planet? Yup. Did I write a whole story defending the This Smells Like My Vagina candle? Also yes.
To settle this back-and-forth once and for all, I started The Goop Lab on Friday night when my boyfriend, aka bingeing bud, was far more interested in finishing Don’t F**k With Cats: Hunting an Internet Killer. (TBH, I didn’t blame him for not being interested in a six-part series that the internet had already reviewed as ‘all kinds of awful’ and ‘a terrible bore.’)
While putting on my makeup, I started watching the third episode, called ‘The Pleasure Is Ours,’ on my laptop. Just as a bunch of middle-age women were sitting around naked at an orgasm workshop on the screen, my boyfriend walked into the room. ‘They can show that on Netflix?!’ he said. But then…he just…Couldn’t. Stop. Watching.
Now, before you think, Well, duh, of course he’s going to want to watch anything with naked women, know that it wasn’t like that. Despite the content, the episode itself felt anything but sexual. Rather, it became a great way to spark a conversation about the female orgasm, which is why I highly recommend you watch this with your partner—stat.
The episode centres around the legend Betty Dodson, a 90-year-old sex educator and author who’s been teaching women about their bodies and orgasms since the 1970s. She’s like your spunky grandma with spiky white hair and thick-rim glasses who sports patched denim jackets that are cooler than anything you’ll ever have in your closet.
Within the first few minutes of the episode, Dodson has to explain the difference between a vulva and vagina to Gwyneth, who mistakenly refers to the vagina as the vulva (a v common mistake).
‘The vagina is the birth canal only. You want to talk about the vulva, which is the clitoris and the inner lips and all that good shit around it,’ Dodson says. And guess what? My boyfriend was shooketh. He had no idea there was a difference.
Besides the newfound sex ed knowledge the episode dropped on my boyf, it also focused on helping women learn to ask what they want during sex. This is the main reason I recommend watching it with your partner. If you don’t know where to begin when it comes to being more vocal in the bedroom, this episode could be a great icebreaker…as it was for me and my S.O.
Early in our relationship, I was scared to admit to him that I had not—and likely would not—reach climax every time we had sex. As the topic came up in this episode, I thought about how much easier that convo would’ve been if we’d watched this together.
The 37-minute episode also makes Goop staffers vow never to fake an orgasm again. Instead, they explain a concept called ‘performative receiving,’ which is something most commonly done by women—it’s what happens when you accentuate your pleasure with moans and breaths.
I have never faked an orgasm with my partner, but this did spark a conversation about something I was scared to admit: I have faked orgasms in my younger years, which was something my boyfriend and I were able to dive deeper into as the scene continued.
While watching, we also learned that there are different types of orgasms for women, like the tension orgasm (which most women experience), or the rock and roll orgasm, which is Dodson’s recommended technique. Trust: Me and my boyf gave it a whirl after the episode (they call it Netflix and chill for a reason, mmkay?) and it should def be added to your ‘to-do’ list.
Then, just when we thought we’d seen it all, this episode does something truly groundbreaking: It shows a woman having a real orgasm on camera. Surprisingly, it was much more beautiful than it was sexual. We both sat watching quietly, like we were at a museum studying and taking in a piece of artwork. We agreed that was really what a real orgasm sounds and looks like.
So the next time you and your partner can’t decide what to stream on Netflix, I highly recommend you watch the 37 minutes that is episode 3 of The Goop Lab. It’s a perfect way to start having honest conversations about sex and getting off, and it just might inspire you both to practice what you see.
And hey, maybe your S.O. will actually learn basic female anatomy too.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan US
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