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Are Extreme Bridesmaid Proposals the Best or Annoyingly Extra?

We asked two bridesmaids who’ve been through it to be honest.

Your homegirl wants you to be part of her big day, but does that really call for glitter, bride-tribe swag, and a blowout party? Two Cosmo readers throw down.

“She made us do a scavenger hunt and it was really fun.”

“I was taking a nap at my parents’ house one afternoon—about two months after my brother and soon-to-be sister-in-law got engaged—when the bride’s sister stopped by. She woke me up, handed me an envelope, and told me to get in her car. She said that my brother and his fiancée had set up a scavenger hunt for us! We had to solve a series of riddles about important locations from our childhoods, which made sense since the four of us grew up together. The first clue sent us to my former middle school, where a bouquet of pink balloons and an envelope were waiting.

We stopped at five locations, including an ice rink where we used to hang out. The final stop was the church where they planned to get married. That’s when we found a small box waiting for me and the bride’s sister. Mine had a travel-size bottle of booze and bridal-themed nail polish (ya know, the essentials). There was also a note that read: ‘Will you be my maid of honor?’

“WE HAD TO SOLVE A SERIES OF RIDDLES ABOUT IMPORTANT LOCATIONS FROM OUR CHILDHOODS, WHICH MADE SENSE SINCE THE FOUR OF US GREW UP TOGETHER.”

Even though the hunt was very involved, it left me teary-eyed. I probably wouldn’t do the same for my own wedding, but I appreciate the thought they put into the day we spent running around the city. It made me reflect on the memories we’d made and got me pumped for their future. And that little bottle of vodka was a nice touch.” —Erica E., 28

“After one of my good friends got engaged, she invited seven of us over to her place for a boozy brunch. I suspected she was going to ask us to be her bridesmaids, and that became very clear as soon as I walked through her door and spotted a huge banner strung between her kitchen and dining room that read ‘Bridesmaids’ in glittery gold letters. Then there was the giant engagement ring balloon centerpiece on her table, and pink and gold decor (her wedding colors) literally everywhere. It was a lot.

Post-mimosas, she brought out baskets of bridesmaid-branded stuff for each of us. There was a champagne flute, a candle featuring a photo of the bride and me on the label, hair ties in a package that read ‘to have and to hold your hair back,’ and a bottle of champagne also labeled with the B-word. The grand finale was a card containing a personal note from the bride about how much she appreciates our friendship.

THEN THERE WAS THE GIANT ENGAGEMENT RING BALLOON CENTERPIECE ON HER TABLE, AND PINK AND GOLD DECOR (HER WEDDING COLORS) LITERALLY EVERYWHERE. IT WAS A LOT.

Post-mimosas, she brought out baskets of bridesmaid-branded stuff for each of us. There was a champagne flute, a candle featuring a photo of the bride and me on the label, hair ties in a package that read ‘to have and to hold your hair back,’ and a bottle of champagne also labeled with the B-word. The grand finale was a card containing a personal note from the bride about how much she appreciates our friendship.

THEN THERE WAS THE GIANT ENGAGEMENT RING BALLOON CENTERPIECE ON HER TABLE, AND PINK AND GOLD DECOR (HER WEDDING COLORS) LITERALLY EVERYWHERE. IT WAS A LOT.

What bothered me most was that she’d obviously transformed her average 20-something apartment into a Pinterest board just for Insta. The bride took pics of us as we opened our gifts and posed with the presents, then we took individual photos with the bride and So. Many. Group. Shots. I appreciated being included, but I felt like the whole thing was a production. And what TF am I supposed to do with a candle that has my face on it?” —Brooke H., 25

This post originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com

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