8 Women Share Their Workplace Clapbacks to Their Male Colleagues

“‘Wouldn’t your husband be happier as the breadwinner?” STFU.’

You know that thing that happens when someone says something incredibly ignorant and offensive, and only hours does the perfect clapback occur to you? You know how you then, unfortunately, kick yourself repeatedly for not having come up with it on the spot? The thing is though, for women, we’re often subjected to the same idiocy on a regular basis, especially in the workplace. Which has given us ample time to craft our workplace clapbacks.

8 women share their workplace clapbacks to the their male colleagues

1 I’m an intermittent makeup wearer

‘I actually had a colleague stop a meeting because he couldn’t figure why I looked different. One of the badass gals I work with just deadpan told him details of how he could highlight his features with the power of makeup. Dude got uncomfortable, but all the rest of us were laughing so hard. Still a running office joke when there is a topic you don’t want to get into, change the topic by talking about blush or mascara.’ [Via]


2 My son just turned 7 months and I’ve already had people ask when I’m having #2

‘I bluntly tell them that the first pregnancy gave me severe PPD (postpartum depression) that’s turned full-blown depression and I have no interest in seeing how much worse my mental state can get. Blunt honesty is my favourite way of dealing with intrusive questions.’[Via]

3 Whenever I’m without my kids people are always asking if their dad’s ‘babysitting’

‘What the fuck, no. He’s just, you know, parenting.’[Via]

Read 7 Mistakes You’re Making when Asking for a Promotion

4 The one I really love is ‘why do you wear glasses, you look so pretty without them?’

‘Because I can’t fucking see! I find contacts to be extremely uncomfortable to wear. Glasses are so much more practical and I don’t have to haul solution and carrying cases and eye drops around with me when I take them off. I don’t have to have clean hands to adjust them. And TBH I think my glasses are pretty damn cute.’ [Via]


5 Whenever I was pregnant I was asked ‘was it planned?’

‘Sorry random male coworker I don’t think that’s your business. My husband was never asked if our kids were planned.’ [Via]

6 The bingos I get when I say I’m not having children are insanity

‘What does your husband think? (He doesn’t want kids either)

What if you regret it? (I can always foster or adopt. I can’t unbirth a baby)

Accidents happen! (I’m sterile. Unlikely. Also, abortion exists)

Who will take care of you when you’re old? (Beautiful young people I hire with my bags and bags of money I saved by not having children)

Don’t you feel lonely? (Nope)

How will you feel fulfilled? (By having goals and desires unrelated to children)’ [Via]

Read 15 Hilarious Unspoken Rules of the Workplace

7 When my daughter was a baby and toddler and again with my son, I was working full time

‘”But who is taking care of your kids?” My husband. Which always lead to, “But wouldn’t your husband be happier as the breadwinner?” STFU, ain’t your life.’ [Via]

8 ‘When are the babies coming?!’

Fucking never. [Via]

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