No work day is flat. Emotions fluctuate, highs and lows are experienced… It’s all very dramatic. Here are the 13 stages of an average day in the office.
8am: Gusto. You’ve got your coffee in your hand and you’re feeling great. You’re ready for the day! Let’s do this!
8.15am: Eagerness. A quick e-mail check. Soooo many e-mails – but you will respond to ALL your fans.
10am: Motivation. For the past hour and a half, you’ve been the most efficient work-machine on the planet. You’ve powered through the most important part of your to-do list like a pro, and time has sped by. See? You knew today was going to be a productive one!
11am: Confusion. Huh. It’s kind of weird how this past hour felt a whole lot slower than the previous one. But whatever! You’re still going strong, and it’s lunch in just two hours. This company is, like, so lucky to have you working for them.
11.45am: Annoyance. Okay, haha guys, what sick joke is this? When did time stop its nicely paced jog and regress into a sad-baby crawl? You need some tea, because the brain-fuzziness is starting to set in and it is TOO EARLY FOR THIS. A slow stroll to the kettle should fix it…
12.30pm: Defeat. Right, it’s SO close to lunchtime, there’s literally no point in starting something new. Hey, Paul is online on Google Hangouts! You should check how Paul’s doing; it’s been a while.
1pm: Excitement. OH YESSSSSSS! You grab your work wife and run out the door. You may have a lot of stuff on your to-do list but you refuse not to take this precious hour for granted. The great outdoors (read: closest coffee shop) is calling your name.
2pm: Acceptance. Well, that was fast. But it’s fine! You feel energised and ready to power through the final three hours. It can’t be that bad.
2.15pm: Agitation. The clock is broken or time is working backwards… Either way, this is not cool.
3pm: Lethargy. And so begins the dreaded Slump. You fight against it every day but it’s a fact of life: you are literally unable to function post-3pm. It’s not just in your mind – it is impossible to focus at this time of day. No wonder school days used to end at 2.30!
4pm: Fatigue. Coffee NOW, or you’re going to fall asleep before the end of the day.
4.30pm: Death. You have died. You are dead.